Forever Golden
by Cima1305
Summary: YAOI. AU-ish. Juubei cleaves to Kazuki, even though their love leads him into unimaginable danger and darkness. To him, their love will be young and golden forever. J/K, T/K. Dark themes, full warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Getbackers series. This was written purely for entertainment purposes and not profit.

Warnings: (not so much in the first chapter, but will appear later, if I ever get that far!)

Fantastical Hermaphroditism, Sex, Violence, Bad Language, Death, Gore, Sexual Harasment, Rape, Implied Incest, Mpreg. SPOILERS for Getbackers anime and manga: up to and including episode 48 for anime and up to and including volume 36 for manga. May contain some vague spoilers for volume 39, but only references. Will be AU-ish, with a stretched out timeline and some different plot points.

Pairings: YAOI, Juubei/Kazuki, Toshiki/Kazuki

X

Chapter 1:

At the age of seven, Sakura was capable of giving Juubei a complete thrashing whenever their playtime games turned rough. Always emerging red-faced with triumph, she would never fail to pin him into a heaving, wriggling pile and rub his face as hard as she could into the ground. Pinches and furious little bites wouldn't deter her from straddling him, planting her bottom in the middle of his back, and twisting his arms and hair until he howled.

"Say that I win!" she would yell, and twist harder so that Juubei, with angry tears running down his face, would shout as loud as he could, "Alright, alright! You win! I give up!"

Sometimes, after she released him, he would dart away to a safe distance and shout back, "You're a nasty girl, Sakura, and you'll grow up into a nasty old witch and I _hate _you!"

A furious shriek would follow and, most likely, a chase that lasted until she caught him and thrashed him again.

Later, they would both get smacks from their aging caretaker for being so rowdy, and then a stern lecture from either Mother or Father about discipline and self-control. Shame-faced, Sakura was always the one to apologize first, and they both forgot about the fight quickly enough after a good night's sleep.

But ever since the first time she had bested him, Juubei had made a solemn, childish oath that he would grow stronger and bigger so that he would one day be able to take revenge. He wanted to be the one twisting her fat little arms behind her back and making her howl. It was a matter of regaining his honor.

And as the seasons passed, Juubei did grow stronger and broader and heavier. He grew wider in the shoulders and was able to boast an inch or two higher than he was before.

But to his horror, Sakura grew soft and pretty. Instead of growing into the nasty old witch he had declared her to be, she grew into something far worse in the eyes of a vengeful little brother: a girl.

Her hair became long enough to tie into ribbons and he just _couldn't _hit someone who wore ribbons. Her skin, which had always been reddish from sunburn, became smooth and pale like milk, and he just _couldn't _pinch bruises onto someone with such nice skin. And no matter how much she might have deserved it, Juubei just couldn't bring himself to pound her face into the floor, not when she smiled so sweetly at him and batted her lashes against her lightly freckled cheeks.

And even if he _could_ bring himself to take vengeance on pretty, smiling Sakura, she had no time for him now. Sakura had become elegant. Sakura had become sweet. Sakura had grown up into the type of creature known as a "young lady."

"I'm sorry I can't play with you, Little Brother," she would say. "I don't have time for games anymore. I have to start learning to be a lady of the Kakei house." And as she turned away, Juubei would notice that her ankles, which were always bumpy with mosquito bites from running through the grass in summer, were now covered up by the hem of her long kimono.

Juubei never did regain his honor.

And with the loss of his playmate, there was a period in his childhood when he was quite lonely. All the other children in the Kakei clan were either too small for his rough games, or big enough that they didn't dare to roughhouse with the young heir for fear of accidentally hurting him.

As he grew old enough for his Father to enforce stricter rules on him, yet remained young enough to itch for the excitement and freedom of the outside world, the endless days spent indoors at his lessons were unbearably stifling. He wanted friends and not tutors. He wanted playmates, not pale, courteous acquaintances that shied away from him whenever he wanted to wrestle.

Then, one hot, golden summer, Juubei was taken on a visit to the Fuuchouin house. Sakura sat across from him during the ride between their estates, and the carriage was filled with the scent of her powdered ribbons. She had her hands folded primly in her lap, but her toes were tapping an impatient rhythm and Juubei knew she was as excited as he was.

"Remember," said their mother, who was with them, "we are honored guests here and must remember to be respectful. Our clans have had centuries of history together. Our bond of loyalty was forged in ancient times and has lasted to this day, and has ensured generation after generation of peace and safety. Someday, it will be you two who will continue that tradition. You must behave yourselves while you stay here and not do anything to disgrace our family name."

But traditions and family names didn't matter so much to Juubei. He was a child, and the sun was shining onto a beautiful summer day. It was his first visit to somewhere wonderful and strange, and all he cared about was for the carriage to stop rolling so he could dash out into the fresh, exotic air of the Fuuchouin family grounds.

When they finally arrived, he was dazzled by the whiteness of the stone-paved walkways and the green of the swaying bamboo trees. He rushed off, thrilled to be free from the confines of his own family's propriety and went on a mad dash through the manor grounds, relishing each moist caress of leaves against his face, each thud of his feet on the brown earth.

It was there, in the heart of the Fuuchouin estate, that Juubei met the doll-like child called Kazuki. It was there, on the warm green Fuuchouin land, that they spent the most blissful summer of their lives. They romped and played and snuck off into the coolness of the surrounding woods to explore. They climbed trees and wrestled in the springy grass. They waded through muddy streams and peaked into birds' nests, where the little eggs were warming under the sun.

As children often do, they became the best of friends, as quickly and as naturally as a kingfisher snatches up its prey.

That summer, as the fruit fattened on the branches and the river ran clear and cool, Juubei felt his loneliness melting away like ice. He grew used to Kazuki's chiming laughter and wondered how he had ever lived without hearing it everyday. That summer, round-limbed, baby-faced Kazuki was his constant companion and his favorite playmate.

They grew golden under that bright sun. They adored each other. They loved each other.

They fought each other and for the first time, Juubei let someone else win. He would put on a show of fighting back, but in the end, he would let Kazuki pin him to the ground without complaint. When Kazuki squeezed his round knees into Juubei's sides and declared solemnly, "I win! Give up and say I win!" Juubei would smile and say, "Yes, yes. Of course you win, Kazu. Always."

And when their daytime games were over, and after they had to endure lessons and supper and baths, Juubei would find some way to sneak out of his guest's bedroom and make his way towards Kazuki's quarters so that not even bedtimes could separate them.

When Juubei lobbed pebbles at Kazuki's window, Kazuki always rushed to throw it open and lean out, blinking owlishly through the dark.

"Is that you?" he would always whisper down to Juubei, and then dart from the window without waiting for the answering "Yes." He would reappear with a sheet that he lowered down to his friend, and Juubei would climb up like a clandestine lover with Kazuki half-pulling him along.

At the top, Kazuki would let go of the sheet in favor of grabbing onto Juubei's shoulders in a scrambling embrace. They would tumble down into the room and clap their hands over each other's mouths to stifle the giggles.

Nights together were splendid. Juubei loved the hours and hours of dream-like happiness, filled with moonlit card games, star gazing, shadow puppets made with a stolen stump of candle, whispers and muffled laughter. It was as if the things they muttered to each other were more magical, more secret because it was nighttime. They always dozed together, tangled up on Kazuki's futon, to start awake at the arrival of a rosy dawn.

Sometimes, when they were both bundled into the thin summer comforter and Juubei was drowsy with sleep, he would peak at Kazuki's doll-like face to check that his friend had drifted off first. As gently as he could, Juubei would run a finger down Kazuki's cheek, marveling at the way the moonlight set Kazuki's skin glowing like a pearl. Like a curious puppy, Juubei would press his face close and sniff the warm dark hair, rub his own cheek against the collar of Kazuki's pajama shirt.

"You are my best friend," Juubei would whisper into the darkness, as he breathed in the scent of Kazuki's velvety hair. "You are my best friend and I swear, I will protect you forever. I will protect you with my life."

X

One day, while Juubei was outdoors on the Fuuchouin grounds practicing with his needles under the shade of the bamboo trees, Kazuki came to him in a flurry of excitement.

"Guess what, Juubei?" Kazuki panted, pink-cheeked and smiling.

Juubei's halted, surprised when he detected a whiff of perfume. His eyes flicked to the ribbon around a lock of Kazuki's hair. In an instant, he recognized the color and the soft, powdery scent that Sakura favored. A prick of jealously needled him when he realized that Kazuki had been making friends with Sakura, and his answering "What?" was gruff.

But Kazuki was taking him by the hand and pulling him along, with such a sweet, mischievous look on his face that Juubei's resentment didn't last long.

"Come on, come on!" Kazuki said. "I want to show you something!"

"What is it?" Juubei said, laughing and tucking the needles back into his wristband. It was impossible not to be affected by Kazuki's happiness, not when he was like this.

"I snuck away early today and went exploring, far away from the house. I found the prettiest lake in the whole world! It's so shiny and clear. And there's the loveliest green grass growing all around and I wanted to take a swim so badly, but I didn't because I wanted you to see it with me first!"

"That's wonderful!" Juubei exclaimed. Kazuki's joy was infectious, and Juubei felt his own elation rise as he jogged after his friend, stooping down to avoid low branches, sneaking past the roaming servants and household members, clinging to the low stone walls at the edges of the property, and then breaking into a run once they were free with nothing but the earth and the grass before them and a blue sky above.

Kazuki led the way, stepping lightly through the woods and along the river, humming a merry tune. Juubei was happy enough to follow, but gripped Kazuki's hand worriedly when they headed farther than they had ever explored together. The trees were becoming unfamiliar and Juubei felt nervous, being led away from the comforting gurgle of the river and deeper into the woods.

"Are you sure we ought to go this far?" said Juubei. "We could get lost."

"Oh, don't worry," said Kazuki, tossing his head. "I already came this way once. Look, here we are!"

The boy started to run and Juubei, still holding onto his hand, followed. They broke out into a field, leaving the quiet coolness of the woods behind. Juubei sighed in pleasure as he felt the warm sunshine on his face.

Kazuki was right. The view was breathtaking as they walked, hand-in-hand, over the lush green grass and the rounded hills. The lake in the distance was shining like a slab of glass.

"Isn't it lovely?" Kazuki breathed. "It feels like we're not even on Fuuchouin land anymore. It feels like we're in a completely different world, just the two of us."

"Actually, I don't think we _are _on Fuuchouin land anymore," replied Juubei, feeling the tug of worry again and looking around for any familiarity, finding none. "Kazu?"

Kazuki, not listening, was already stripping off his rose-colored kimono and bending down to peel off his socks.

"What're you doing, Kazu?"

"I want to swim," said Kazuki, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. With a tug and a swish, the remainder of his pretty clothes fell into a heap at his feet. He took more care in untying the ribbon from his hair and folding it, tucking it into one of his shoes.

"Come on, Juubei!" Kazuki urged, and took off running down the hill, naked and laughing.

Juubei watched him take a tumble in the grass first, like an itchy horse, and then splash carelessly into the clear, cold lake.

"Wait a minute!" Juubei called out. "Are you sure it's safe?" More cautiously, he made his way down the hill and to the grassy bank.

Kazuki's plump buttocks stuck out of the water as he swam around in a circle.

"This feels great," sighed Kazuki, turning onto his back to float out to the middle of the lake. He splashed some water in Juubei's direction. "Don't be so serious, Juubei. It's fine to come in."

Still hesitating, Juubei toed off his shoes and made his way to the water, where Kazuki was floating like a plump, contented fish sunning its rounded belly. Carefully, Juubei slid off the wristband with his needles and laid it out on the grass, then rolled up the legs of his trousers into bunches.

He waded out a few steps. The water was cool around his ankles and Juubei wiggled his toes in the sandy bottom.

He smiled and gave a little kick, watching how the movement made golden ripples appear on the surface.

"See how nice it is?" said Kazuki.

"Yeah," Juubei agreed, grinning.

With a swooping motion, Kazuki dove headfirst into the lake and disappeared from sight. Worry prickled at Juubei when his friend didn't reappear immediately. He peered into the water, but couldn't make out Kazuki's form in the greenish-blue depths. Not a ripple could be seen.

"Kazu?" Juubei called out. "_Kazu!_ Please come up!"

No answer.

Just as Juubei was about to dive in himself, he felt playful fingers close around his ankle. He smiled and resisted the tug that would have sent him sprawling if he hadn't known Kazuki's mischievousness so well.

A second later, Kazuki burst from the water, giggling.

"You thought you could trick me?" Juubei laughed, and splashed some more water at Kazuki's already dripping hair.

Juubei stopped when Kazuki suddenly gasped and stared hard into the distance behind him. Kazuki's face, which had been rosy and smiling just a second ago, went white with fear.

"Oh, no! Bandits!" Kazuki cried, and pointed.

Juubei whirled around and fought the tug of water around his legs, scrambling up with fists at the ready to face whatever danger that dared make Kazuki cry out.

At the curved hilltop, where Kazuki had so carelessly let his clothes fall, were two lanky men. They had the pretty pink kimono in their hands and were shaking out the expensive fabric, appraising it with their shrewd eyes. It was obvious they had heard and seen the two boys, but the bandits only gave the white-faced children a long, indifferent look before bunching up Kazuki's clothes like stolen goods and turning for the woods.

"Oh, _no!_" Kazuki cried out again, his voice high and shrill. "Stop them, Juubei! Stop them!"

"Scoundrels!" Juubei shouted, clambering barefoot onto the grassy bank and snatching up his wristband. He drew two glinting needles and tried to take aim, but they were too far away.

"Stop! Stop right there, you scoundrels!" Barefoot, he ran after them up the hill. They turned and looked down at him, watched him slip on the grass, red-faced with anger. One of them chuckled lowly and muttered something in an unfamiliar language.

They easily dodged the needle Juubei flung and laughed in low, husky voices.

"Give it back!" Juubei demanded. Blinded by anger, he rushed at them, only to find himself knocked off-balance with a gentle little kick and sprawled out ungracefully on the ground.

"Oof! H-how dare you!" He was unhurt but winded, and struggled to get to his feet. The bandits had gone, disappeared into the line of trees. Juubei made to follow, but Kazuki's wail stopped him in his tracks.

"Oh, Juubei!" came Kazuki's plaintive little cry. The boy was curled up on the bank, arms wrapped around his naked body.

Instantly, Juubei forgot his own stung pride and rushed back down to his friend's aid.

"Are you alright?" he asked breathlessly. Kazuki looked up at him with large, miserable eyes.

"Oh, Juubei, what are we going to do? What am I going to do? I can't go home like this, or Mother and Father will be furious with me! They'll know I snuck away again and they _warned _me not to do it, they _warned _me, Juubei!"

"H-here," said Juubei, unfastening the light shirt of his jinbei. Kazuki's panic was setting him on edge. With shaking fingers, he draped the shirt around Kazuki's damp shoulders and urged the boy to stick his arms through the sleeves. "Please don't worry, Kazuki! We'll think of something. We'll just tell your mother we went out for a short walk, and we got lost, and…"

Kazuki surged to his feet so quickly that Juubei took a step backwards. There was a fierce, frightened look in the boy's brown eyes. Juubei gulped, recognizing that stubborn blaze, despite the fact that Kazuki looked a bit ridiculous in the oversized shirt, the hem barely coming down far enough to cover his privates.

"We have to go after them!" he declared. "We'll make them give me my kimono back. We can fight them, the two of us! Oh, Juubei, please tell me you'll help me go after them. Please say yes."

It was _that_ look. It was the way that Kazuki widened his eyes so that they glistened like wobbly brown puddings. It was how Kazuki said "Oh, Juubei!" in _that _soft insistent tone, all breathy and miserable, as if he _must _have what he wanted at that moment, as if nothing else in the world mattered so much.

_Oh, Juubei._

"Yes, yes," Juubei found himself saying, nodding eagerly as if he were agreeing to some treat and not a foolish, dangerous mission. "Of course I will, Kazu. Always."

Gripping Kazuki's hand, as if to reassure himself, he led the way up the hill and into the woods.

Neither of them knew how to track, but the bandits hadn't been too careful in hiding where they were going. There were fresh footprints in the earth and a trial of broken twigs. They found a scrap of pink fabric caught on a low branch and Kazuki made a low whine of dismay.

"Oh, they've ripped it! Now Mother will know for sure that I've been out in the woods."

They continued on, deeper into the woods where the trees grew closer together and the roots were gnarly. It was dark beneath the dense foliage and the bark was rough beneath their small hands as they touched the tree trunks to steady themselves.

It was foolish, of course, for two small children to be wandering into unfamiliar woods, one of them half-naked from the waist up and the other half-naked from the waist down. But they were driven by their eagerness and were confident in their own naïve belief that they were going to reclaim what was theirs, and surely, no harm could befall them for that.

Juubei, with Kazuki's hand tucked firmly in his own, led the way through the trees and over rough ground. Soon, after much panting and struggling through the terrain, the trail brought them out into a clearing.

The gentle ripple of voices and the smell of smoke greeted them, and Kazuki darted behind Juubei with a nervous little squeak.

There was a merry bonfire in the middle of the clearing. Pale canvas tents were set up for a rudimentary camp. About two-dozen brightly dressed people were milling about the camp, the two thieves among them. There was a wagon loaded with goods and an old, brown mare, who kept scuffing the ground with her hoof. A few fat chickens were pecking at the ground.

"Look!" Kazuki breathed, and clutched hard at Juubei's bare shoulders. Close to the crackling fire was a little girl, probably younger than either of them. She had a round face and large brown eyes, and her hair was dark, like Kazuki's.

She was wearing Kazuki's clothes. The kimono was too big for her and the hems pooled on the grass like the tail of a pink fish. The sleeves hung over her little hands and her feet were too small for Kazuki's embroidered shoes.

A man with graying hair was seated next to her, and he had a kind, wise wrinkled face. At Kazuki's short exclamation, he looked up at them, but not in surprise.

"Ah, look who's here," he said in a drawling, accented voice, as if he and his camp were expecting the two boys. He stood, unraveling his tall, wiry body, and Juubei recognized the colorful beads around his neck and the braids in his hair.

They were a group of wanderers that sometimes came to the village near Juubei's home, selling their wagonload of oddities and playing strange, exotic music to anyone that danced to it. Where they came from and where they traveled was a mystery, but Juubei was always charmed by the smell of spice on their clothes and their lilting language. The "bandits" were not known to do harm, but they were a different sort of people that said what they liked and did what they liked, and had their own code of justice that was beyond the quiet little cloistered village of Juubei's home.

"Are you lost, boys?" said the man, who Juubei thought must be the leader of the company. His voice was warm and husky.

Juubei felt Kazuki stir from behind him and take two tentative steps to the left, peering his peach-round face over Juubei to stare at the so-called bandits.

"I am Kazuki Fuuchouin, the heir of the Fuuchouin family and the heir of this estate. You have stolen something that belongs to me. You are trespassers."

It was the voice of a coddled boy, a boy that was adored all his life. It was the voice of a milk-fed boy that had been brought up in expensive cotton swaddling. It was the voice of the Fuuchouin heir.

Kazuki's words may have sounded sweet and proud while echoing off the paneled walls of his house, but here in the forest, under the sun that shone equally for everyone, his voice was thin and insubstantial.

"Trespassing, eh?" said the Leader, seeming oddly amused and not at all offended. "That's interesting of you to say. How can I be trespassing on my own land?"

Kazuki stamped his foot on the grass with all the indignant pomp of a six year old. "This isn't your land! I just told you, I'm Kazuki Fuuchouin and this is my family's land!"

The Leader, somehow regal in his homespun clothes, waved his arm around in a lazy gesture. "These are my tents. I set them up for my family. We built this fire. We will eat at this fire and sleep in these tents and walk on this ground. We will take what fruit we need from the earth and the trees, and maybe pay it back by planting some of our own. Of course this is my land. Our land. And when we leave tomorrow, it will no longer be our land, but just another part of the forest."

Kazuki blinked. His eyes flicked to Juubei, as if asking for help. "But… but…"

"So, you're Kazuki Fuuchouin, eh?" said the Leader, as if he only acknowledged the boy's impressive family name as an afterthought. He walked languidly over to them and reached out a hand, as if to pat Kazuki's brown head.

Immediately, Juubei tensed. "Stay back!" he snapped and reflexively drew his needles. With a flick of his wrist, he threw them at the acupuncture points that would render the man unconscious.

To his surprise, the man simply raised his hand into the air and closed his fingers. When he opened them again, Juubei's needles were gathered neatly into the palm of his hand like harmless trinkets.

"Need more practice, kid," he said, and smiled. Juubei gulped.

Kazuki made a delighted little murmur and clapped his hands, forgetting his own flustered anger. "Oooh, that was amazing! I've never seen anyone catch Juubei's needles so quickly before."

The man responded with a roguish wink.

"B-but wait a minute!" said Kazuki. He pointed at the dark-haired little girl, who was now nibbling on one pink sleeve. "Your people stole my kimono! You must give it back to me. It's mine!"

"Oh?" said the man. He walked back to the fire and ruffled the girl's hair in a gentle caress. "This is my daughter, Plum Blossom. And these clothes are on Plum Blossom's body, so they belong to her. When her brothers took these clothes, they found them on the ground. If things are precious to you, then you shouldn't leave them lying around."

"But…!"

Plum Blossom interrupted Kazuki with giggle. Her open mouth revealed missing baby teeth and a little pink tongue. Her eyes were bigger and rounder than Kazuki's, which Juubei hadn't thought was possible.

"Besides," continued her father, who was now looking at her affectionately, "I'm sure you have many kimono, Little Fuuchouin Prince. Let my Princess have this one. She likes it very much."

He held out a hand to her. She took it and twirled, pirouetting on one little foot.

Juubei watched Kazuki frown a little, and then flush. "Well, alright," he relented, and nervously tugged down the hem of Juubei's shirt. "But I want my ribbon back. She can't have that because it was a gift from my friend, and gifts _always _belong to the person who got them. Everyone knows that."

The Leader nodded solemnly, pursing his lips as if he were considering something far more serious than a child's pretty possessions. "Fair enough," he said, and reached over to lightly tug the ribbon from around Plum Blossom's hair. She watched it go with a little whine of dismay.

He approached Kazuki, Sakura's ribbon held out like a peace offering. "I shall tie it around your wrist, Little Prince."

"Yes," said Kazuki. He moved away from Juubei and bravely stepped forward was if he were about to be knighted. He held out his arm and Juubei's stomach clenched with worry.

"Kazu, maybe you shouldn't…" he started, but Kazuki ignored him.

Ever so gently, the gray-haired Leader looped the scented ribbon around Kazuki's wrist and tied a smart little knot. Then, to Juubei's surprise, the man removed one of his own beaded bracelets and slipped that onto Kazuki's wrist as well.

"There. _That _was a gift. Now, it'll always belong to you."

"Thank you," said Kazuki.

Then the man reached down and took a playful pinch from Kazuki's cheek.

"No!" Juubei gasped, and rushed forwards, throwing himself in front of Kazuki with fists ready for fighting.

But Kazuki was giggling and pushing him out of the way. "It's alright, Juubei! Don't get so worried. It didn't hurt at all, see?"

He tugged at Juubei's arms and smiled that bright smile, and only then did Juubei lower his fists and stop glaring.

"My, my," said the Leader, smiling warmly at Juubei. "You're quite the protector, aren't you? And now, it's probably time for you boys to go on home. The sun's setting. Would you like one of us to escort you, Kazuki? Back to _your _land?"

"Oh, that's alright," said Kazuki. He tossed his head again, smiling majestically, and Juubei got the feeling Kazuki thought himself very gracious indeed. "We can find our way. Let's go, Juubei."

Arm-in-arm, they turned and left the warmth of the campfire behind. The beads on Kazuki's wrists felt cool to the touch as Juubei gripped Kazuki in a relieved half-embrace.

The woods were even darker and seemed denser than before, but they were able to pick up the trail they had left before and headed steadily home.

It wasn't until a few minutes later, as they were making their way through the thickness of the foliage, that Kazuki suddenly stopped and gasped aloud.

"What is it Kazuki?" Juubei asked.

"Oh, no," Kazuki whimpered, and clasped his hands over his mouth. He blinked rapidly as if he was coming out of a dream. "Oh, no. Oh, no. We just talked to strangers, Juubei! Mother said _never _to talk to strangers!"

"W-what?" Juubei stammered. There was an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, as if he had eaten something nasty but only realized it after the fact.

"Oh, Juubei, this is terrible! We're going to be in so much trouble. No, _I'm _going to be in so much trouble. I snuck away for hours and hours and didn't even tell Mother where I went. And then I swam in a lake with no grown-ups around to watch me. And then I went into the woods with almost no clothes on and I talked to strangers! And now I _still _don't have my clothes back and Mother will just _know _that I've been bad and she'll never, never forgive for being so bad today!"

He ended the tirade on a choked-off sob and flopped down on the ground, looking pale and miserable.

"H-hey, you're not going to cry, are you?" Juubei asked, horrified.

"No," Kazuki replied, but dragged a sleeve across his suspiciously red eyes. "And I banged my foot," he added.

"Oh, don't cry!" Juubei urged, trying to fight down his own rising dread that they were indeed going to be in disgrace when they finally got back. Perhaps Lady Fuuchouin would be angry enough to have them soundly whipped and sent to bed without any meals. In fact, judging by how late it was, they may have already missed dinner anyway and could expect to be hungry for the rest of the night.

_If that's the case, _Juubei thought fervently, _then I'll tell Lady Fuuchouin it was all my fault and that I dragged Kazuki out here. Then they can whip me all they like, but they won't punish Kazuki. It's alright. I can handle it! I'll protect Kazuki no matter what happens._

"Don't worry, Kazuki!" he said firmly, and started to tug on one of his friend's arms. "It'll all be alright, I promise. We'll hurry and go home now and everything will be alright. Please get up now, or your bum will get cold."

Kazuki giggled weakly at that and got to his feet. He wiped his face again and pressed close to Juubei as they started walking again.

It rained and got darker as they walked. The forest grew damp and hot, and then damp and cold. They were both soaked through before they were halfway home and clung to each other out of fear. The forest, which had been so bright and inviting in the daytime, now seemed too dark, too treacherous, and their young imaginations made up an army of monsters for every shadow.

Juubei took big steps, trying to stamp down his fear. He tried to tell himself that there was nothing to be afraid of, and that he was strong enough to protect them both, that he would brave the forest as well as the double whipping for when they got home. He felt Kazuki's arm trembling in his own and he stroked it like he would a frightened kitten.

Once or twice, Kazuki whimpered and Juubei noticed that his friend was limping. When Kazuki started stumbling more and more, Juubei knelt down and hefted Kazuki onto his own back. He grunted under the weight and winced when stray twigs scraped his feet or when wet branches slapped him in the face and he no longer had free hands to wipe them away.

"Don't worry," he kept repeating, though he was tired and hungry and sore, and not at all sure if he could withstand two whippings anymore, one for himself and one for Kazuki.

After what seemed like hours, they finally saw the familiar sight of the Fuuchouin house. Juubei felt like his back was breaking, but he tried to stand tall as he trudged up to the gate.

The house was alight with lanterns and a crowd of worried people greeted the boys.

"They're here!" someone shouted as they approached the courtyard. "Call off the search party! They've returned!"

Juubei saw Sakura among the household members, her face pale with worry, her handkerchief wrinkled with twisting. "Oh, Juubei!" she said, her high voice carried to him over the clamor of everyone else asking questions.

Then, Lady Fuuchouin herself was pushing through the crowd, heading toward the boys, her face hard and mask-like. Juubei shivered as he looked up at her. She was a tall woman and as she reached out her arms, he could see that her fingers were strong like steel.

"It wasn't Kazuki's fault! Please punish me!" Juubei tried to say, but it came out in a pathetic little squeak. His throat was so dry.

Before he could try again, Kazuki was sliding off his back and running to his mother's outstretched arms, barefoot and bare-bottomed and not caring. With his face scrunched up as if he really was going to cry, Kazuki ran into the folds of her warm silk kimono and she swept him up in her arms as if he weighed nothing.

Juubei watched, stunned, as she buried her face into Kazuki's dirty, grimy hair and her little boy smudged her gown with forest dirt and sobbed for all his hurts. She was gone in an instant, disappeared in a whirl of rose-colored silk, headed steadily for indoors, holding the grimy, dirty, sobbing boy in her arms like treasure.

The household followed her like a royal procession. No one reproached Kazuki. He needn't have feared at all.

"I…"

The words stuck in Juubei's throat. No one stopped to scold him for being bad. No one stopped to deliver the whipping that Juubei had been ready to take. No one cared that he stood there, aching and cold and hungry, and that he had carried their Little Fuuchouin Prince through the woods on his back, and that he was ready to fall over with weariness.

"Mother, may I have a boiled egg?" came Kazuki's quivery little voice as he was carried into the house like a returning prince.

And Juubei stood there, awkward, confused, hurting and aching, until Sakura came and took his arm, steered him towards the side door. She marched him up towards their rooms like a shamed criminal and only when the door had clicked closed did she speak.

"Oh, Juubei," she sighed. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Sister," he said numbly.

"I'll send for a tub and some hot water. You're all dirty. What in the world were you doing? Do you have any idea how worried we were?"

Juubei caught his reflection in a nearby mirror and winced. His face, chest, and arms were covered in little cuts and bug bites. There were leaves stuck in his dirty hair and his trousers were ripped and filthy.

He rubbed at his eyes and felt like crying. He felt ill treated and awful, like he was sick.

"Please don't nag, Sister."

"Here. Wipe your face." She handed him one of her soft, scented handkerchiefs and he sniffled into it for a while.

"You're going to be in so much trouble," she said. "Mother will be angry. She'll probably never let you come back here and see Kazuki again."

And that hurt worst of all.

"Oh, be quiet!" he snapped, and hot tears were now pouring down his face. "Leave me alone, Sakura. I don't want to talk to you."

He turned his back on her and plopped down on the clean floor, not caring that he was soiling it. He heard her sigh, heard her slide the door open again and walk out, heard the click of the door shutting.

Juubei felt miserable, like a knight that had been abandoned by the prince he was sworn to protect. He curled up on his side and brought his knees to his chest, rolling up like a ball. He was so tired, so he closed his eyes and let the sweet, heavy feel of sleep slowly overcome him. He wanted to dream.

But the sliding of the door roused him only minutes later. Juubei heard the soft whisper of a kimono's hem sweeping the floor and he thought it was Sakura again.

"Go away," he said. "You're so annoying. Go away and let me sleep."

Someone cleared her throat behind him and Juubei turned to see the Lady Fuuchouin standing in the room. Quick as a flash, he sprang up and bowed as deeply as he could.

"I'm so sorry, Lady Fuuchouin!" he gasped. "I didn't know it was you, honest!"

"It's alright," she said softly.

Tentatively, Juubei raised his head to look up at her.

The wife of the Fuuchouin clan leader was tall and broad across the shoulders. Her hair was dark against the whiteness of her face, and she possessed a hard, unyielding loveliness. She had donned a white haori since she had met them at the gates, and the sleeves billowed out like eagle's wings.

She seemed too large for his little room. She seemed too imposing, too regal.

"Poor boy," she said, noting every bruise and cut on Juubei's body with one scrutinizing glance. "Poor boy. You are not hurt too badly, I hope?"

"N-no, Madam." He was suddenly too aware of the state he was in. He could feel the sweat and the grime on his face and hands, and the filth in his hair. He looked down at his feet and saw that the legs of his trousers were stained with damp earth. Ashamed, he scuffed his toes on the floor.

To his surprise, she reached out one elegant white hand and cupped the side of his face. Her touch was cool and comforting and he instinctively nuzzled her hand, as if she were his own mother.

"Perhaps I should send a nurse to have a look at you?" she said.

"Oh, no. That's all right. I'm not very much hurt and I wouldn't want to trouble you," Juubei said politely.

There was a smudge on the front of her kimono. It was brown and in the shape of Kazuki's small handprint. At the sight of it, Juubei suddenly remembered Kazuki and the mantra that he had been repeating to himself.

"Please!" he burst out. "It wasn't Kazuki's fault that we were in the woods. Please, please don't punish him. It was all my idea and I made him come with me, and then we got lost in the woods. Please punish me instead. I can take both our punishments and I promise not to cry or w-"

"That's enough," said Lady Fuuchouin and Juubei shut his mouth so fast his teeth clacked together. But his fear was abated when he saw that she was smiling. "Juubei, I think the two of you have been through enough today. Whatever punishment can be discussed tomorrow, after you've both had a good night's sleep and a good breakfast in the morning, don't you think?"

"Yes, Lady Fuuchouin," he replied, wide-eyed. From the tone of her voice, it seemed like he wouldn't be whipped after all. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if "punishment" was just a lecture or extra calligraphy practice.

"And there's no need to take all of the blame either. That's honorable, but unnecessary. In fact, I came to thank you. I am very grateful, Juubei, that you have brought Kazuki home safe."

Juubei felt his face growing hot with the praise and he fought the urge to rub the blush away. "Oh. There's no need to thank me, really. I was only doing my duty as a member of the Kakei family. I am Kazuki's protector, after all."

She smiled warmly at him. "Yes, you are," she said. "You are very loyal, aren't you?"

"I am!" he said, beaming. Unconsciously, he puffed out his naked, bug-bitten chest.

"Good," she said, nodding her dark head. "Good. Kazuki is… a very special child. I'm glad he has you as a protector, and a friend. He will come to need you more and more when he's older."

Juubei nodded back solemnly, and then asked shyly, "Is he alright now? I think he banged his foot earlier."

"He's perfectly fine. In fact, he's asking for you. He wants to share his egg with you. Would you like to see him?"

"Oh, yes! But…" Juubei hesitated and looked down at himself. "I'm all filthy."

"Then go and wash, and when you're ready, go to Kazuki."

"Yes, Lady Fuuchouin!" Juubei said, and bowed respectfully to her as she left. Then, he dashed off to quickly clean and dress himself.

Kazuki was waiting for him when he finally arrived. Pink-cheeked from washing, sitting pertly on his futon with his foot bandaged up, Kazuki looked very much like a prince, inviting Juubei to his chamber like a loyal courtier.

"I saved you half," Kazuki chirped, and pushed a dish towards Juubei. There was decidedly less than half, and Juubei recognized the little teeth marks where Kazuki had probably nibbled the egg down in his impatience while waiting for him.

But he took the scrap of egg from Kazuki with a sigh of longing and gratitude, as if his prince had gifted him with something far greater. He spooned broth from Kazuki's soup bowl onto the little dot of yolk and ate it all in one gulp.

"Would you like to play cards?" Kazuki asked happily, as if there had been no weary trek through the woods, as if he had been sitting there the whole time, smelling clean and sweet in his yellow pajamas.

"Sure," said Juubei, smiling back.

Kazuki pulled aside the comforter and Juubei snuggled in next to him. Kazuki's body was warm and soft and Juubei pressed close for comfort. They laid the cards out on their laps and played a messy game. Occasionally, Juubei would reach over and tuck an errant strand of hair behind Kazuki's ear and run his fingertips over Kazuki's cheek, relishing the freedom to do so. Had his mother been present, he would have received a sharp smack for being too familiar.

They fell asleep as they always did, all over each other with their limbs tangled up in the bedding, cards stuck to their faces and hanging limply from their fingers. When a servant came later, carrying a second tray with soup and tea and sweets, she found them sprawled together and sleeping soundly. She did not disturb them, but drew the curtains against the breeze, tucked them in, and left as quietly as she could.

X

The leader of the clan of Travelers was sitting by the fire when his son returned. It was already evening, and Plum Blossom was dozing nearby, smudges of dirt on her face and the smell of smoke in her hair.

A nod and a grunt was their only greeting, and the Leader raised a gray eyebrow when he noticed his son carrying a fat brown rabbit as well as two trout on a string. Without a word, his son plopped down on the leaf-strewn ground and set to work on the rabbit with his curved knife.

They were quiet for a while, while the fire crackled and the camp buzzed with sleepy conversation and the clanging of utensils against pots.

"So," the Leader spoke up, "did they make it home safe?"

His son shrugged, unsmiling. "I suppose. I followed them until the edge of the woods. Didn't care to trail them anymore after that. The smaller one bruised his foot and whined like a baby about it, but they were fine."

"Good," said the Leader, nodding. He stared pointedly at the butchered rabbit and the fish. "I thought we agreed on no poaching?" he said gruffly.

His son scrunched up his face in disgust, then hawked and spat on the ground. "Who cares," he grumbled. 'The Fuuchouins are gentry, aren't they? They've got more than they need. They won't starve just 'cause we've got meat for our pot tonight."

He flicked blood from his knife and nodded his grimy head at the sleeping, contented girl. "She'll need to take off that pretty gown, before it wrinkles. It'll need to be cleaned. How much d'you think we'll get for it in the market?"

X

Kazuki and Juubei were made to stay indoors for the next two weeks. Neither of them were whipped or even spanked, but they were kept for long hours in a stuffy classroom to recite their lessons. They were kept away from each other to prevent more mischief, but they found ways to be together during the day, sneaking off into the storage cellars to share a handful of raisins or climbing onto the rooftops to bask in the sun.

Neither of them ever told the adults about meeting the Travelers in the woods, and Juubei felt wickedly delighted whenever Kazuki winked at him from across the dining hall as if to say, "We have a secret, you and I. It belongs to us and no one else."

Kazuki hid the beaded bracelet in a patch of cloth on the inside of his kimono and sealed it up with string to hide it from the chambermaids. Whenever they huddled together in the coolness of the cellar, hands cupped around the flickering flame of a candle, Juubei could feel the round bumpy beads through Kazuki's clothes.

When the confinement ended, they were back to running free through the Fuuchouin grounds, climbing trees and licking drops of rainwater from the pointy leaves. And though they were watched more closely by Kazuki's guardians, no one could stop their wildness, their endless chase for pleasure and play, their bright young joy.

Eventually, the long hot days grew colder and drier, until they were on the edge of summer, about to tumble into a cool, crisp autumn. Thicker clothes and comforters were rolled out for airing and the kitchen staff boiled down pots of sugar to make hot syrup.

Kazuki took a sudden flighty interest in gardening and begged a child-sized set of tools from his father. While the other children of the household hung around the ripening orchards, Juubei was dragged on Kazuki's "hunting trips" through the surrounding woods.

Any wild flower or fern was treasure to Kazuki and he would collect cuttings and pods wherever he went. Juubei followed with armfuls of ceramic pots and damp cloths while Kazuki sated his desire for anything green and growing. They would return to the house late, arms laden and covered with mud, and Kazuki would later plant the seeds and roots in the little dirt patch under his window.

"This is my garden," he said to Juubei. It was inexpertly dug and planted, with all sorts of odd things shoved under the earth together, but Kazuki was as proud as a mother awaiting a newborn. "My very own garden. I'm going to grow all sorts of lovely things, like fruit and flowers and cucumbers and great big pumpkins. But no carrots! They're horrible. And when my fruits grow up, I'll give the first ones to you, Juubei. You'll have the first harvest from my garden."

"Thank you," Juubei replied, and didn't bother to tell Kazuki that autumn was fast approaching and his garden would probably die of cold.

One chilly day, Kazuki donned a peach-colored cloak and woke Juubei up early to go "hunting" for plants. The air was dry and pleasant as they walked, hand-in-hand, towards the forest and its wonderful, green treasure trove.

"What're you looking for today, Kazu?" Juubei asked, stifling a yawn.

"Well, Mother always looks sad this time of year, so I'm going to cheer her up with some wildflowers. I'll plant them into pots and put them in her room."

"That's nice."

They walked until they came to a grassy clearing. The sun was shining down like a beacon onto a patch of pale, creamy flowers and Kazuki immediately went about unpacking his satchel of tools.

Juubei perched on a nearby rock and watched Kazuki kneel down and dig through the earth with his little trowel, carefully uprooting one of the flowers. He yawned again and rubbed his eyes before looking back up.

That was when he saw it. There was a shadow over Kazuki and on the patch of ground where he was kneeling.

Confused, Juubei looked up into the sky. It was a cheery blue and there wasn't a cloud to be seen. He looked around, thinking that one of the trees had blocked out the sun, but there were none that grew close enough.

He stared at Kazuki, who was cheerily dumping damp earth into a ceramic pot. Kazuki didn't seem to have noticed.

Juubei thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. He stared harder until his head ached, but there it was, an ugly gray shadow over Kazuki that seemed to come from nowhere.

He blinked. It was gone.

Kazuki was as bright as always and the sun was shining down like a bolt of gold. There was no shadow. There was no shadow.

"Oh, bother," Kazuki muttered. He had torn one of the flower's dainty roots. "I think I've killed it."

X

Juubei's grandmother was doing poorly and Sakura was sent to fetch him from the Fuuchouin house. They rode home together on the chilly, bumpy road.

He had spent so much time away from the Kakei family home that it felt like he was returning to a strange house. His mother greeted him with affection and complained that he was hardly home anymore. His father was as cold and strict as ever. They had a quiet family supper together, simple and meatless, without music or sweets afterwards.

It was late in the evening when Juubei appeared before his grandmother. He knelt on the tatami in her room and bowed his head respectfully.

The room smelled of medicine. Sakura was boiling herbs in a clay pot over a small charcoal brazier, for their grandmother's cough.

Juubei lifted his head and looked carefully at his father's mother. She was old and wrinkled, with long white hair that was left untied. She looked small, bundled up in her futon.

"I am very glad to see you, Lady Grandmother," Juubei said. "I am sorry that you are sick."

Juubei's father had no sisters. His daughterless grandmother had not been able to pass down the Kakei Maiden Tapestry technique for a generation, not until Sakura was born. She was Sakura's mentor, and Sakura was utterly devoted to the aging, white-haired matriarch. Sometimes, Juubei felt as if his sister loved their grandmother more than their own mother.

He watched Sakura carefully strain the herbal tea through a fine mesh and into a porcelain cup. She adjusted the silk robe around her waist first before bringing the cup to her grandmother.

"Have you been obedient, Juubei?" Grandmother asked in a creaky voice, holding the cup in trembling, old hands. "Have you been dutiful and good?"

"Yes, Lady Grandmother," he recited like a songbird.

"I heard that you've been visiting the Fuuchouin house."

"Yes, Lady Grandmother."

Sakura was now wetting a towel in a basin of warm water. She wrung out the water and shuffled over again to kneel behind Grandmother. Ever so gently, Sakura lifted the mane of white hair and started to bathe the wrinkled neck.

"Juubei loves it there," Sakura chimed in. "He's always so happy when we go visit, and he begs to stay longer. Mother sometimes leaves him there for an entire week. He's become such good friends with Kazuki. They're completely inseparable."

The old woman glanced up sharply and stared straight into Juubei's eyes. "Kazuki Fuuchouin?" she demanded. "The son of the Fuuchouin Clan Head? You are familiar with him? Close to him?"

"Yes, Lady Grandmother," said Juubei.

Her gaze was suddenly fierce. She tapped at Sakura's wrist and waved her off. She sat up tall on her futon and Juubei flinched back. She had been a beautiful, formidable woman in her prime and Juubei could still see that pride in her, that power in the line of her shoulders.

Grandmother leaned forward towards him. "You should not spend so much time with Kazuki Fuuchouin," she said, slowly and clearly.

"L-lady Grandmother?"

"You are his protector. Nothing more. Do your duty, but distance yourself from him. In fact, you are not to spend so much time at the Fuuchouin house. I forbid it. Distance yourself from them, Juubei."

Juubei and Sakura stared at each other, stunned.

"Oh, Grandmother!" gasped Sakura. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing good can come from them," said Grandmother, and there was an odd, eerie ring to her voice, like music.

"But the Kakei family have been their protectors for generations!" said Juubei. "It's tradition that we befriend them and protect them from all harm. It's tradition that we should be loyal."

"Yes, and it will destroy us!" snapped Grandmother. That set her off on a coughing fit, but she raised her hand to ward off Sakura's concerned fluttering. "The Fuuchouin House is like a tree that's rotting away at the roots, but still trying to bear fruit. They are rotten, corrupt, inbred, slowly being torn apart by their own warring factions. They are barely held together these days. You two wouldn't know, but they are dying from the inside out, and all the while trying to polish themselves on the outside, like shining a false coin. And we are rotten too, as long as we are connected with them."

Juubei bit down on his lip to stop a cry of protest. He remembered the cool, soft caress of Lady Fuuchouin's hand on his face, and how regal and beautiful she had been .He remembered the white sleeves of her haori fluttering like eagle's wings and the elegant sweep of the silken kimono hem as she walked. How could someone like that be rotten?

"Stay _away _from that boy," said Grandmother. "He is one of them. His fate is darkened, just like the rest. Stay away from him or you will suffer. You are still young, Juubei. I _know. _I know things about Kazuki Fuuchouin that would make your skin prickle."

"They say he is special," whispered Sakura, staring down at her hands. "They say he is… gifted."

"A _gift_?" spat Grandmother, looking as if she had tasted something nasty. "It's a _curse_. It's a terrible, freakish curse that will bring him nothing but pain."

"Kazuki is not cursed!" Juubei cried out, unable to hold back. "He's my best friend! What do you know about him? You've never even met him!"

He could have bitten his own tongue off. He had never spoken out so rudely to Grandmother, and he felt sick with guilt right afterwards.

"Oh, _Juubei_!" Sakura hissed at him, glaring. But to his surprise, Grandmother didn't seem angry. Instead, she seemed a little sad.

"My boy," she said, and came closer to him. She reached out a gnarled hand and laid it on his head, over his eyes. Her hand was hot and heavy, like a bear's claw and Juubei fought not to fidget under the weight of it. "My poor boy. You don't understand yet. If you become too attached to the Fuuchouin heir, he will cause you more pain and sorrow than you can possibly imagine. You will lose everything, more than you thought you even had. You will _die _if you continue to befriend him, if you continue to love him. There is a shadow over his life, and it will swallow you up if you don't stay away."

Juubei gasped. She spoke like a prophet. She spoke like a seer from the old legends.

All of a sudden, he shivered at the memory of the inexplicable shadow that had fallen on Kazuki that beautiful, sunlit day.

"I met the boy once," said Grandmother. She lifted her hand from Juubei's face and shuffled back to her futon. She lay down, as if she were very weary. "I met him once, when he was just a toddler. I knew the moment I saw him that he was as rotten and dark as the rest of them. Stay away from him, Juubei. He stinks of misfortune. He stinks of death."

She sighed and coughed again. She waved her hand in the air, as if shooing away a fly. "Go now, the two of you. I'm tired. I'm so tired."

Juubei stared at her, numb, until Sakura came and pinched him hard in the arm.

"Let's go," she whispered, and pulled him to his feet.

They went out as quietly as they could. Like thieves in the night, they both stole away from their grandmother's chambers and tiptoed to Juubei's bedroom. They lit a lamp and sat on either side of it like campers at the bonfire.

Sakura broke the silence first. "Grandmother is ill. She's not herself these days. She doesn't know what she's saying."

Juubei nodded mutely, unhearing.

It _wasn't _true. His grandmother was wrong. Kazuki, doll-like Kazuki with his pink mouth and his soft hair, who smelled of milk and breakfast porridge as Juubei slept next to him, wasn't rotten and he didn't stink of death.

But the image came to him, unstoppably, of the shadow on the Kazuki's face, the shadow on the grass that spread outwards like a stain. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists in his lap.

"Perhaps," ventured Sakura, "you should stay home for awhile. Just to please Grandmother. Stay home until she gets better, so she can see that you're not so obsessed with Kazuki. You've been away from home far too much this summer, anyway. You weren't even here when she fell sick."

There was an edge of accusation in her voice, and Juubei bowed his head in a show of contrition.

"Alright," he mumbled. "I'll stay home. For awhile."

Sakura nodded and twisted a strand of light brown hair around her finger. "Good. That's good." She took his hand and clasped it across the table, as if they were shaking on a deal. They sat, hand-clasped, for a few silent moments, watching the lamp flicker. Sakura's eyes seemed sad in the orange glow.

Juubei felt very weary, and was glad when she released him and gathered her robe around herself.

"Good night," she said softly, and left.

Alone, Juubei laid out his futon. He undressed, lay down, and wrapped himself in the comforter. He tried to lose himself in the soft, sweet comfort of sleep, but he was restless. Several times, he tried to lull himself asleep by imagining Kazuki curled up next to him, the air smelling faintly of clean hair and the drops of rosewater that the Fuuchouin maids sprinkled on Kazuki's pajama collars.

But when he closed his eyes, he would see on the backs of his eyelids the shadow that had fallen over Kazuki like an omen of death. And his memories would play strange tricks on him and he would imagine that the shadow scorched the grass beneath Kazuki's white hands and sucked away the sweet summer air like some evil void. And Juubei would shudder and start awake, and draw his comforter tighter around himself.

X

Notes (with spoilers!):

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Thank you so much for reading! The inspiration for the certain elements of this story came from volume 39, when the nature of the "alternate timeline/multi-verse" was explained. Since the world that the Getbackers live in was created to be an alternate world, I'm assuming that other alternate worlds are also available and possible. I thought it was interesting that in the original world, Kazuki was biologically female, while biologically male in the Getbackers world. It inspired me to explore the idea of a world where it's possible that he's both. Please note that the related biology is purely fantastical and does not represent any real world medical or scientific cases.

Please feedback and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Getbackers series. This was written purely for entertainment purposes and not profit.

Chapter 2:

At the age of eight, Juubei had grown stronger and taller than Kazuki. His body lengthened like a tree reaching towards the sun. He could outrun Kazuki in a race; Kazuki was swifter and lighter, but Juubei's endurance lasted longer during their mad dashes up and down the rolling green hills. He could no longer pretend to beat Kazuki in their wrestling matches anymore, as not even Kazuki could look at his hardening muscles and lean, wiry strength and still believe that he had honestly lost.

At the age of eight, Juubei was taken away from Kazuki.

It was declared to him, very solemnly, that his childhood had ended and he was to be properly educated as the heir to the Kakei clan. He was no longer to play under the sun. He was no longer to rest his head on Kazuki's plump arms and sleep the afternoons away, curled up under a swaying tree.

They both cried when it was time for Juubei to go, and Kazuki clung to him and made him promise to write letters everyday. And when Juubei was marched to the carriage that would take him away from the warmth of his dearest friend, he held onto Kazuki's soft hand as long as he could.

While the carriage rolled and bounced down the road, Juubei hung out the square window and looked backwards until he could no longer see the pink sleeve of Kazuki's frantically waving arm, or hear Kazuki's voice on the wind.

"Oh, cheer up, Juubei," his mother said wearily, and tugged on his sleeve so that he would sit properly. "I thought you'd be happy. You're growing up into a man now, and everyone will treat you like one. There's nothing more exciting for a boy, I'm sure. You'll be trained by the best teacher of our household."

"But I miss Kazu already," Juubei sniffled.

"You won't have time to miss him when your training starts. You'll be far too busy and far too excited. And besides, it won't be forever. Kazuki will still be here when you've grown older. Isn't that the point? To train in earnest so that you'll be strong enough to protect him when the time comes?"

"Yes, Mother."

But Juubei was still sick with a bellyful of grief the next morning, when he was to stand before his father. The head of the Kakei clan had no patience for tears and he cuffed Juubei once or twice about the head.

"Stop that crying!" he snapped. "I won't have it. You're not a baby anymore. What's the point of whining for your friend? Would you rather whine for him or fight to protect him?"

"I-I'm not whining!" Juubei declared, and bit down on his lip to stop it from trembling.

His father sighed, as if he were sick of him. "Then stand up straight and stop that crying. I've been far too lenient with you and you've become a soft, lazy boy. It's time you've grown up, like Sakura. It's time you did your family duty."

The clan head walked over to his writing desk and flicked aside a few papers. His words were curt and cold. "You will be mentored. You must travel away from home for that, as is traditional. You will leave in the morning."

Juubei bowed his head. "Yes, Father."

X

His mother had been right. He missed Kazuki and Sakura and Mother and Grandmother, and even his hardhearted father during the first few weeks, but after that, he had no time to think about any of them.

He lived in sparse conditions with his strict, elderly mentor, who he had to call Master, and was not allowed to write letters, or play, or read anything but the Kakei School scrolls. Day after day, he followed his Master up and down the rough trails of their surrounding terrain, and in the chilly midst of dark, rough trees, he trained in the Kakei needle techniques.

Day after day, he watched the smooth motions of his mentor's body and struggled to imitate the striking speed, the bone-breaking strength. Barefoot over the coarse grass, he trained each morning until he was cramped and cold and aching for a rest, and then far longer until he was ready to collapse, until he was barely able to hobble after his Master on the long, winding trail home.

The afternoons were humbling. Juubei hauled water, scraped fish, and chopped wood with a hatchet until his hands were blistered, and then callused. As the setting sun blazed red on the horizon, Juubei crouched on the roughly hewn furniture and pored over the acupuncture texts, the Kakei scrolls, and the occasional brief message from his father. He was reprimanded, often harshly, for wasting lamp oil in the evenings, so there was minimal reading after dark.

His skills were honed. He learned to be deadly and accurate with his needles, able to break rocks or whisk a nut from between a squirrel's teeth without harm. He learned, with his fingertips running over and over his own body as well as the wood-and-cloth dummy, where each acupuncture point was to be pricked, how to pierce someone so that he died in agony, how to render someone as immobile as a statue, and how to heal someone from the brink of death.

He learned to heal and to hurt, he learned to kill and to mend. He learned to ride, but not before a shuddering, sweating, wide-eyed yearling was brought to him and he was given only a day to tame it.

He learned to press the side of his head to the cold ground, close his eyes and lie very still, and hear the movements of every wild creature within yards. He learned to move as swiftly and as silently as an arrow, jumping over the stones in a rushing river with only the tips of his toes.

He grew harder and stronger, and great deal more solemn. He grew lonely, and learned to ignore that loneliness, so that the pain of it numbed over and grew dull.

In the little house where he stayed with his Master, the bright luxurious Fuuchouin estate was a distant memory. Kazuki was a distant memory. Sometimes, he would dream of the soft flush on Kazuki's cheek after a hot day under the sun, or the golden chime of bells, but he always woke up to a chilly floor and the harsh cawing of a crow, with his throat dry for a drink of water and the dream slipping away.

He took short trips home once every season, but his house and the surrounding village were strange to him now. The furniture in his room felt foreign under his fingertips. Even his mother's embraces and Sakura's slow, sweet smiles were unfamiliar and odd.

"Oh, don't look so serious, Juubei!" his mother would exclaim, cupping her hands around his face. "You are still just a boy."

But he didn't feel like a boy. Surely, he was no longer a boy. Not when he had tried so hard to put aside everything from his boyhood, the golden memories and the dreams and the sound of Kazuki's laughter. Surely, he was grown up now, with his dangerous, wiry body that was built to fight and protect.

On his third visit home, Juubei's father handed him a thick, heavy packet of papers.

"Here," he said unceremoniously. "They are from Kazuki Fuuchouin. There is no need to reply to them."

Juubei's stomach twisted oddly as he thumbed through the stack. They were letters, dated all the way back to the very day he left for his training, all of them in Kazuki's handwriting.

He swallowed down something painful and bitter as he opened some of them and saw the passage of time through Kazuki's letters, how the older paper had dulled and how the calligraphy had grown steadily neater with practice. It was time that he had spent away, growing colder and older in his heart. It was time that would never come back.

… miss you so much! I'm sure that you're very busy with training. Is it very hard? Is it fun? Do you…

It was very cold today! I went for a walk but the wind was too strong to go very far. Is it very cold where you are, Juubei? I hope you're…

…my birthday. I wish you were here. Why do you never write back? Is it because you are so busy?

_I hope you liked the apples I sent you! I packed the basket myself_. _Please make sure that Sakura gets one too. I miss you…_

I planted a cherry tree in my garden today. I'm reading about "pruning." I miss you…

_I miss you…_

_I miss you…_

Juubei's throat was too tight and he coughed hard to clear it. He looked up at his father, who looked as he always did, cold and unflinching. Juubei felt as if he should be angry, furious, that his father had kept Kazuki's letters from him, but somehow couldn't summon up the passion.

"Yes, Father," he replied, and his father gave him an almost commending look before nodding and leaving.

That night, in the light of a precious, private candle, Juubei laid out every letter on his futon but found that he couldn't bear to read them. Somehow, it seemed too late to read about Kazuki's ninth birthday, or the changing of the seasons, or the first harvest of his garden. He had grown too far away from that golden childhood, from wonderful, golden Kazuki.

Yet, against the wishes of his father and against the reluctance in his own heart, Juubei wrote a letter back. It felt like breaking a scab. There was a pain that was fresh and sharp and somehow sweet when Juubei, not knowing what else to write, simply wrote, "I miss you too. I'm growing stronger. I miss you too."

He sealed it up and left it with a trusted messenger in the morning. Then, he left for the cold, lonely little house in the wilderness, where he would continue to grow stronger.

X

Juubei saw Kazuki once, when the Kakei family, as well as the extended Fuuchouin family, were invited to the main Fuuchouin house to see the rare flowering of the bamboo trees. Amidst the wave of green and dusky red, Juubei saw Kazuki sitting by the clan leaders, and marveled from a distance at how much Kazuki had changed.

The Fuuchouin heir looked gangly and awkward at 11 years old. He kept tugging at the cuffs and collar of his clothes, as if he were very uncomfortable. His hair, which looked newly cut, shaped his face rather unattractively, and Kazuki kept reaching up a skinny finger to tuck a lock behind his ear.

Juubei looked down at his own hands, which were callused and still bandaged from his latest hurts in training. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin, as if being in such a nostalgic place in his older, stranger body was somehow wrong.

He didn't approach Kazuki that day, but hid in the crowd like a coward. He refused to stare at Kazuki, and kept his eyes on the glistening pink crabmeat that was served at the banquet. But once or twice, when he looked up to answer someone's greeting, he saw Kazuki's dark head swiveling eagerly around, as if Kazuki was searching for him.

X

Another year passed, and Juubei was able to return home more often. He was able to join the ranks of the other young household members. Though he far surpassed the other boys, he joined them in their sparring matches and their training exercises, all the while feeling the eyes of his father on him, assessing his skill and his strength.

He did not visit the Fuuchouin manor, or write to Kazuki. He received no further letters and he resigned himself to expecting none. It was just as well, that they had grown apart. He would wait, until he was of age to take over that solemn duty of being a protector, and then he would be by Kazuki's side.

It was by chance that the invitation for Kazuki's fourteenth birthday celebration came to him during one of his trips home. As he skimmed the letter, he vaguely wondered how many more birthday invitations his father had kept from him.

"There's no need for you to go," said his father, frowning, that night at dinner when Juubei brought it up. "In fact, I prefer if you didn't. Things like that distract you. They keep you from being disciplined"

Juubei looked around at the deliberately plain walls of their dining room. He looked down at his chapped, rough hands, which were cupping a wooden bowl of plain rice. The hall was drafty, but even if it had been warm, he still would have felt cold inside.

"I _am _disciplined, Father," he whispered.

"Sakura will attend, as she always does," his father continued, as if he hadn't heard. "She will represent our family and pay our respects to the Fuuchouin heir. You should-"

"Oh, _enough_!" Mother cried out, and set her bowl down hard on the table, as loud and sudden as a gunshot.

Juubei nearly jumped at her outburst and across the table, Sakura had gone wide-eyed. They couldn't remember the last time that Mother, fragile, skinny, milk-white Mother, was ever sharp with Father.

"He wants to go, so he should go," she said. "He's worked hard enough and been dutiful enough for ten sons. Why should he not go to his best friend's birthday?"

His father fidgeted with his chopsticks, uncomfortable at being caught off-guard. He cleared his throat. "Madam, I prefer-"

"You shall go, Juubei," said Mother. She looked straight at Juubei from across the table and her eyes were soft. "I don't like to see you so somber all the time. And besides, now that you're spending more time at home, it's better that you reacquaint yourself with Kazuki. You are to be his protector one day, after all."

"Yes, Mother. Thank you."

He didn't allow himself a smile of triumph until he was in the privacy of his own room. He unfolded the invitation again and smoothed it out on the low table with a thrill of excitement. He was invited, _personally _invited by Kazuki and he was going to go. He was going. He was going to see Kazuki again.

He went to sleep that night full of excitement and fear. The very next day, he prepared for the journey himself and ordered a horse instead of the carriage. He left a week early, by himself, in case that his father should change his mind and send him back into exile.

"You're a bit early, aren't you, young Master Juubei?" said the Fuuchouin gatekeeper when Juubei arrived, panting in the heat of an early summer.

"My apologies," Juubei replied. "I hope it's alright."

"Of course, of course. Shall I announce to Master Kazuki that you've arrived?"

"No!" Juubei said quickly, feeling a sudden, nervous creep in his chest. "Thank you. I… I'll call on him myself. Later."

He was given his old rooms, the ones he used to share with Sakura a long time ago. The furniture was the same. The wall hangings were the same, and the window still opened out on the same lovely view. It was as if everything had been kept just the way he remembered, waiting for his return.

Yet, he felt like a skittish horse as he walked through the familiar grounds. There was that odd feeling of being too out of touch, too foreign, too changed, and it made his skin tingle as he walked through the bamboo trees. That the trees and the grass and the shining ponds were the same, but the boy who had climbed and romped and played and swam and dipped in his fingers to tease the fish was changed now.

And Kazuki…

Would they smile? Could they learn to be friends again? Or would it have to be a polite, formal relationship, with all their childhood love locked away as memories?

The twang of musical instruments reached his ears and curiously, he pushed his way through the slender green stalks. The brush of moist green leaves against his face and the press of his feet into the soft earth were hauntingly reminiscent of the first time he met Kazuki, and he felt his pulse quicken.

The music led him to a traditional garden, where several musicians were plucking away at their instruments. Lady Fuuchouin was sitting under the shade of the pavilion, robed like a queen and elegantly nodding her head to the music.

Shyly, Juubei melted back into the protection of the bamboo trees and let the tall green stalks cast shadows over his face. It would be rude of him to disturb her.

There was someone sitting next to Lady Fuuchouin and it wasn't until the person turned his face to the light that Juubei realized, with a gasp, that it was Kazuki.

Kazuki had grown beautiful. He had ripened like a peach on the stem, and was no longer the awkward, nervous youth that Juubei had last seen. Though his face was still sweetly baby-round, his features had lengthened elegantly to resemble his mother's. His neck now had the same graceful, delicate twist, and his mouth was pressed into a languid, pink smile.

Juubei felt a blush spreading over his face, and though he was sure he made no noise, Kazuki's head turned towards him like a flower on a stem. At once, Kazuki's face lit up, like the glow of a lantern.

"Juubei!" he cried out, over the sound of the music. "Oh, it's Juubei! Juubei!"

He jumped up and cut through the garden at a run. Juubei blinked in surprise and the next moment, Kazuki was in his arms, embracing him and pressing up against him so that Juubei felt every inch of Kazuki's slim, strong body.

Juubei breathed in the familiar scent of Kazuki's hair and felt dizzy with sudden desire. He had not expected such affection. He had not expected a beauty at only thirteen years old.

Kazuki tilted his face upwards and all Juubei could see were those achingly familiar eyes, that fair, slim throat, and that laughing mouth.

"Oh, Juubei!" Kazuki sighed, as they swayed together like long-lost lovers. He said it as if he were swooning. He said it, _Oh, Juubei_, as if he had tasted the sweetest morsel in the world and was rolling it around on his pink tongue.

Oh, Juubei.

Juubei could hardly breathe. Kazuki's parted lips were mere inches from his own, and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to lower his head and kiss that warm, panting mouth.

It lasted only a second, one blissful, wonderful, dizzy second, before Kazuki pulled away with a gasp. Immediately, Juubei felt himself blush to the roots of his hair and he jumped back as if burned. Kazuki blinked owlishly at him, looking surprised but not offended or frightened.

"K-Kazuki! I'm sorry… I…"

"You were happy to see me," Kazuki said slowly, as if offering an explanation. Dazedly, he raised his fingertips to his lips and touched where Juubei had so shamelessly kissed him.

"Y-yes. I was very, very happy to see you and I wasn't thinking clearly. That's all."

"Oh, I see." Kazuki shook his head briefly, as if trying to clear it, and then smiled his bright smile. "That's alright, then!"

Juubei chuckled weakly. He felt vaguely sick all of a sudden, and confused and hot.

"Kazuki!" Lady Fuuchouin's voice carried over from the garden and cut through his confusion like a cold knife through hot bread. "What are you doing over there? It's rude to leave our guest standing."

"Yes, Mother!" Kazuki called back. He snatched up Juubei's hand and pulled him along as he used to do when they were children.

X

Kazuki hadn't changed at all. Though Juubei could hear the newfound eloquence in the way he talked and feel his young strength whenever they linked arms, he was still the boy of that first golden summer, lively, capricious, and filled with innocent joy.

It was the happiest week Juubei had spent in a years. Kazuki led him through the familiar paths of the Fuuchouin estate and reacquainted him with every tree, every chipped stone lantern, every pond, every colored tile. It was like coming home again, _truly _coming home. As the days melted together, warm and golden like honey on his tongue, Juubei realized that he himself hadn't changed, and that beneath the lessons of solemnity and discipline, he was still the same boy that Kazuki loved, that loved Kazuki.

"Look at how it's grown," Kazuki said proudly, gesturing to the little dirt patch that had now spread into a rather impressive garden. Red and yellow flowers sat neatly in semicircular rows. Cucumbers and tomatoes were sunning in their neat wooden trellises. The cherry tree was growing at one end, near the stone wall that led up to Kazuki's bedroom window. It had recently shed its blossoms and the ground was still littered with pale pink petals.

"Don't they look like snowflakes?" said Kazuki, pulling Juubei to stand under the shade of the cherry tree. From below, Juubei could see the tiny green cherries that had burst from their pods. Kazuki's cheeks were rosy from the sun and his hair was as dark as damp earth, and it felt like Juubei had only been gone for five days, and not five, lonely years.

"It's lovely," said Juubei.

"Do you remember?" said Kazuki. "You used to climb this wall when we were children. I used to lower a sheet to you in the middle of the night." Playfully, he put a hand on Juubei's waist and stepped closer so that there was only an inch between their bodies.

"Will you come to my bedroom again tonight?" he whispered, as innocent as a child and as intimate as a lover.

"K-Kazuki!" Juubei protested. He took two quick steps back to escape the heat of his friend's touch. "You mustn't say things like that."

"Why not?"

"It sounds so… improper, now that we're older."

Kazuki laughed his gurgling, irresistible laugh. "Same old Juubei! So serious and old-fashioned."

They escaped for the woods and fields as they used to, and spent the warm afternoons walking barefoot over the rounded hills that stuck out like little green bellies from the earth. They picnicked and climbed trees and picked nuts from the ground. They built little campfires and skewered pieces of fruit to caramelize.

When the mornings were especially nice, Kazuki would take Juubei for rides in the open-topped carriage. His hands were steady and skilled on the reins as they drove past fields and the surrounding villages. Kazuki would take them far out into the distance, until the red roof tiles of the Fuuchouin house were a smudge on the horizon.

"Look!" said Kazuki, standing tall on his seat and pointing into the distance. Like a compass arrow, his arm drew Juubei's eyes to the peaks of tall, gray buildings. If they listened very closely, they could hear the far-off noises of the city.

"I wonder what it's like," Kazuki said dreamily. "I wish I could see it with my own eyes. I've heard and read all sorts of things, but I've never been there myself."

"You mean Shinjuku? Oh, it's nothing special."

"You've been there?" Kazuki demanded.

"Only a few times," Juubei said quickly, recognizing that urgent, hungry gaze. "With the other boys in my family."

"What's it like? Tell me!"

"Noisy. Crowded."

"Exciting?"

"Yes, if you like noise and crowds and smelly automobiles."

He glanced at Kazuki and smiled. "I prefer it here."

Kazuki laughed. "Oh, Juubei. You may like it here, but I've spent my whole life here. I want to go _there_." He sighed and plopped back down with his chin in his hands. "But I suppose Mother and Father will never let me."

Kazuki danced that evening, with Juubei and a small portion of the Fuuchouin household as an audience. The musicians played a song of peace and hope for a good harvest and Kazuki tiptoed through each step with a look of sensual joy on his face, a look that told the world that he loved the elegance of his young body and the feel of the silk costume against his skin.

Juubei found his eyes glued to each graceful twist of Kazuki's wrists, every flick of the filmy sleeves, the length of his pale neck accentuated by the triangular dip of the kimono. With his mouth painted as red as cherries, Kazuki smiled and teased over the curve of his fan, and Juubei didn't realize until the music stopped that he had been blushing in his seat.

The audience clapped enthusiastically when it was over and Kazuki's dance instructor called out, "Excellent! Excellent!"

Kazuki's mother beamed with pride but scolded him affectionately, "What did I tell you about that?" and wiped at her son's scarlet mouth with a handkerchief.

"Was I wonderful?" Kazuki said breathlessly to Juubei when they were sitting down to their dinner and Kazuki's face had been scrubbed. "Was I enchanting? Did you see any mistakes?"

"None at all!" laughed Juubei, giddy with happiness and the display of wealth laid out on the dining table. There were at least half a dozen fish dishes alone, all of them rich and steamy in thick sauces. "You were brilliant. I could hardly take my eyes off you."

"Oh, really?" said Kazuki.

"Yes, really," said Juubei, finding it difficult to swallow all of a sudden. His stomach made a strange little lurch and he wondered if he was sick.

"Good!" Kazuki leaned closer and smiled a smile that seemed to hint at some unspeakable pleasure. Even without the paint, Juubei could clearly see every groove and curve of those lips. "I'm going to dance on my birthday. I'm very, very glad that you'll be here to watch me."

"Oh. G-good. Sakura will probably arrive to see the celebration too," said Juubei, definitely not thinking of Sakura at that moment.

"You know, Juubei," Kazuki whispered, "I think this will be the best birthday ever, because you're here with me. You're finally here and I'm so happy."

And Juubei blushed again, smiling uncontrollably, and said, "Yes, Kazuki. I'm very happy too."

But when the day of the heir's birthday celebration arrived, Kazuki came down with a sudden, secret illness. He didn't come down the stairs to his breakfast, wide-eyed and cheerful. He didn't attend his own birthday banquet.

The servants were hushed as they laid out dish after dish of food while the guests sat in stunned silence like a court without its prince, and wondered how it could be that smiling, dancing Kazuki could be sick on his birthday.

Sakura, who had arrived that morning, turned pale and pressed a corner of her sleeve to her mouth. "Oh, how terrible! I do hope he's all right. He was always so energetic that I can't remember the last time he was sick."

Juubei said nothing and ate nothing but kept his hands clenched in his lap while the music played. He glared at the thin slices of lobster that Kazuki loved and waited impatiently for the pointless show to be over so he could rush up to Kazuki's room.

He found himself barred from prince's bedchamber. Frustrated and anxious, he was exiled to the corridor while gangs of women rushed in and out with towels and basins.

A man Juubei recognized as one of the Kakei physicians was similarly stopped at the threshold.

"But why may I not attend to Master Kazuki?" demanded the acupuncturist.

"It's Lady Fuuchouin's orders," said the nurse who was blocking the doorway with both hands on the frame. Her hair was half-tumbled out of its pins and her face was haggard and smudged.

She stood aside, however, when one of the other female nurses came up with a dish of sliced lemons. Juubei craned his neck to see through the brief gap between her shoulder and the doorframe, and caught the sight of Kazuki on his futon, looking pale and frightened. He saw the nurse set down the dish by Kazuki's head and fan the fresh citrus smell at him. Lady Fuuchouin was nearby on her zabuton, white-faced and grimacing.

Impulsively, Juubei called out, "Kazuki!" and saw the boy weakly turn his head towards him. He thought he saw Kazuki's bloodless lips mouth "Juubei."

"Now, that's enough, Master Juubei!" snapped the nurse, and drew the door shut with a click. "You mustn't disturb Master Kazuki."

"But I don't understand!" exclaimed the man next to Juubei. "I've been Kazuki's doctor for years. I've seen him through every scrape and every little stomachache since he's been old enough to walk!"

The nurse's face grew oddly red at that, and she leaned against the doorframe again. "Not _this _time, I'm afraid. Not for _this_… malady. It would be improper."

Before he could sputter out an indignant response, a train of people swept down the hall with an old, gray-haired woman at the head. Juubei immediately dipped into a bow when he recognized one of the elders of his family.

"Madam Physician!" the nurse cried out in relief. "Thank goodness you've arrived! Please come in."

She threw open the door again and the grim procession of aging acupuncturists filed in with their herbs and their needles.

"But when may I see him?" Juubei demanded, when the nurse followed them in.

"When he is well again," she called over her shoulder, and shut the door in his face. He was left in the corridor with a waft of acrid medicine and the other Kakei male.

X

Juubei couldn't sleep that night. Kazuki's terrified, white face appeared whenever he closed his eyes and sent him spinning into wild, restless nightmares. His mind made up a dozen strange and horrifying diseases that would cause his brave, wonderful friend such pain and he woke up time after time with a gasp on his lips and his collar dam[ with sweat.

He finally gave up on sleep after the tenth time he had shuddered himself awake. Grumbling at the clear dark sky that it wasn't morning yet, Juubei slipped out of his comforter and got dressed.

The hallways were silent and dark as he tiptoed outside with a swinging lantern in his hand. He was eager for a walk in the fresh air. He wanted to find somewhere to meditate.

The moon was a bright silver sickle in the sky and Juubei was glad to breathe in the sweet, nighttime air. The breeze was mild and cool on his hot skin as he walked in a silent path through the Fuuchouin gardens.

He paused when he reached Kazuki's own garden. The dark shapes of the arching cherry tree and the neat wooden trellises were enchanting in the moonlight. The chirping of the crickets were like little sighs in the night and Juubei sighed with them. If he had been younger, if he had not spent so many years trying to learn the strict Kakei code of discipline, he would have tossed pebbles up to Kazuki's window and waited eagerly to climb up, ignoring the rules without hesitation so that he could comfort his best friend.

Instead, Juubei strolled in a circle around the little garden and tried to rid himself of his useless anxiety, tried to quiet his churning emotions like his Master had taught him.

_You are no good like this_, his Master had said during training, when he had Juubei beaten into the mud and Juubei had glared back with a hurt child's fury. _Don't be angry at me, but stand up and come at me with all your strength. Shed these useless emotions. You are no good when you're angry, Juubei…_

"Juubei? Juubei?"

He gasped and whirled around at the sound of the sleepy murmur. By the bobbing light of his lantern, he saw Kazuki, ghostlike in his white nightclothes, coming towards him from around the corner of the house. He had one hand on the wall as he walked and took lurching, unsteady steps.

"_Kazuki?"_ Juubei said, and raised the lantern up higher. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Juubei? Are you out for a walk?"

His voice came out slurred, as if he had been drugged. His eyes were drooping and his skin was eerily pale. He stopped at about ten paces and looked up at Juubei with an expression of utter confusion.

"Juubei? Are you out for a walk?" he said again, as if he were still in the middle of a dream. He took another unsteady step forward and swayed.

Immediately, Juubei dropped the lantern onto a nearby stone bench and rushed forward to catch Kazuki about the waist. He went limp in Juubei's arms and bumped his head onto Juubei's shoulder so that Juubei felt Kazuki's shuddering breath, hot on his neck.

Juubei's fingers went under Kazuki's chin and sought out the sluggish pulse. He turned Kazuki's face up towards the light and pried open an eyelid to reveal a blown pupil.

"Oh, Kazuki," he whispered, "you shouldn't be up! What were you doing, wandering around in the middle of the night? Come on, put your arm around my neck. I'll take you back to bed."

"No!" Kazuki suddenly cried out. His voice cut through the night like a scream. "No, no, no, I don't want to go back. I don't want to go back to sleep."

"B-but, Kazuki…"

"Nightmares," he whispered, and his breath crept up Juubei's neck and cheek like the finger of a ghost. To his horror, he saw tears on Kazuki's lashes, silvery in the moonlight. "Don't leave me, Juubei, don't leave me."

"Oh, Kazuki," he soothed. "It's alright now. I'm here to protect you. Don't worry, don't worry. They're just dreams. It's alright."

As if calming a skittish pony, he patted Kazuki's sides and arms. His nose wrinkled as he caught a whiff of something warm and musky rising from the folds of Kazuki's nightclothes. "Kazuki," he gasped. "Are you… are you _bleeding?_"

"Oh, Master Kazuki!" came a cry from behind, and Juubei turned with Kazuki in his arms, to see two of the nurses in their robes, running frantically towards them.

"Master Juubei, thank goodness you've found him!" one of them panted while the other gently took Kazuki from Juubei and lifted him into her arms like a child. "How dreadful, if he had fallen in the night or wandered off into the woods! He must have been sleepwalking."

"Sleepwalking?" said Juubei. "Why would he be sleepwalking? What's wrong with him that he would be doing something like that?"

"Oh, there's no need to worry," said the nurse, putting an exaggerated smile on her face. "Master Kazuki is in good hands. He's just unwell tonight. He'll be better soon."

"Let's go," said the other one, rather gruffly.

"Nngh… no… Juubei!" Kazuki said weakly, and wriggled in her brawny arms. He reached out for Juubei with a shaking hand and Juubei felt Kazuki's distress as painfully as if it were his own.

"It's alright, Kazu!" Juubei called after them, as they bore Kazuki away like a limp bundle. He swallowed his worry with a dry little gulp. "Please, rest well and I'll come to see you tomorrow!"

"Give him another cup of the medicine, I think," Juubei heard the brawny one mutter, as they left.

"Just a half cup," her companion whispered back. Her sigh was carried over to him with the summer breeze. "Poor boy, that the first time should be on his birthday."

When tomorrow came, and Juubei knocked on Kazuki's door first thing in the morning, he was still denied entrance. For most of the day, he kept vigil in the hallway, barely ate anything, and felt that he had somehow failed.

How could it be? He wondered again and again as he stared at Kazuki's closed door and watched the shifting feet of the maids and the nurses and the elderly physician. He was Kazuki's best friend. Countless times, he had fallen asleep in Kazuki's quilts and in Kazuki's arms, so sweetly and peacefully, in the very room they were barring him from. How could it be that he, the one who Kazuki proclaimed to be his dearest friend, was not inside that sickroom, with one hand in Kazuki's and the other on a cool cloth to his head?

What could it be? What sickness could be so great, so strange, that he, Juubei, could not be allowed to see Kazuki? That warm, limp, helpless Kazuki could be taken from his arms even though he had moaned Juubei's name and reached out for him? The thought of it burned inside him and he drove his nails into his palms.

He made a decision that night, as he lay awake in the summer heat. Kazuki had called out for him. Kazuki had reached for him and swayed against him in his moment of weakness. He wouldn't leave Kazuki alone. Though he may not have the power to cure Kazuki, he wouldn't leave him alone.

In the dead of night, he stood below Kazuki's window, as he used to, all those years ago. Hoping against all hope that Kazuki was sleeping alone, Juubei scooped up a handful of pebbles and lobbed them at the wooden frame.

He waited a long time under the shifting branches of the cherry tree, neck aching as he watched for the window to open. When it finally did, it was an older, more tired looking Kazuki that leaned out and blinked into the darkness.

"Juubei?" murmured Kazuki. "Is that really you?"

"Yes!" said Juubei, smiling up at the sleepy face.

"Oh, Juubei! I'm so glad! Have you come to keep me company?"

"Yes, I have! Can you get me up?"

Kazuki let out a tired little moan and Juubei saw him slump on the windowsill as if his legs had gone weak. "I don't know," he said miserably. "I can barely keep my eyes open. I don't think I'm strong enough to pull you up."

"That's alright, then," Juubei said cheerfully. "I can do it myself. Step back, Kazu!"

With a furtive glance around, he drew a set of long, steel needles from his wrist. With deadly accuracy, he sent them flying and thudding into the sun-warmed stone. Using them as handholds and footholds, he nimbly climbed his way up the wall to Kazuki's window.

The room was dark and stuffy and smelled of bitter herbs when he pulled himself in. Kazuki was sitting limply in the corner, his robe disheveled so that his bare legs stuck out. He turned miserable brown eyes on Juubei and let out wordless little cry and held out his arms like a child seeking comfort.

All thoughts of propriety vanished in an instant as Juubei knelt and drew Kazuki into his arms. He cradled Kazuki to his chest and stroked his hair, his cheeks, and his warm trembling back.

"Kazuki, dear Kazuki," he murmured soothingly, as he used to do when they were children and Kazuki needed some pain or other cuddled away. "Tell me, where does it hurt?"

"I ache," Kazuki said in a thin, weak voice. He nuzzled Juubei's chest with his cheek like a kitten and closed his eyes. "I ache so much that I could die. I feel sick all the time from the medicine they give me, but they won't tell me what's wrong with me. I'm frightened."

"Don't be," said Juubei. "I'm here now, right? I said I'd protect you no matter what and that's what I'll do. Nothing bad will happen to you while I'm here, I promise."

He slid an arm underneath Kazuki's knees and lifted him up into his arms, gently carrying him back to the rumpled futon. Kazuki's eyelids drooped as Juubei tucked him in and brushed the hair from his face.

"Do you want anything?" Juubei asked, as Kazuki yawned and shifted sleepily. "Drink? Towel? Bathroom?"

"No," sighed Kazuki. "Just… stay with me?"

"Of course," said Juubei, smiling softly. He slid off his shoes and lifted the comforter to lie down next to Kazuki in that old nostalgic way.

The sheets were warm with Kazuki's body and Kazuki himself was hot and soft against him. The arms that came up to encircle his waist were no longer the baby-round limbs of a child, but the slim, strong arms of a boy slowly ripening into adulthood. But it was Kazuki, the smell and touch and warmth was all Kazuki, so familiar that Juubei ached with the sharp sweetness of this, what he had missed so much.

"I'm hurting," Kazuki whispered, his voice heavy with the drowsy pull of the sleeping medicine.

"Where are you hurting?" Juubei whispered back.

To his surprise, Kazuki took his hand and drew it between his legs, trapping it in the warmth of his thighs.

"K-Kazuki?"

But Kazuki merely sighed in some sort of comfort and snuggled closer. "I can hear your heart beating," he murmured with his ear to Juubei's chest, and fell into a sweet, smiling sleep.

Juubei closed his eyes as well and didn't bother to move his hand from between Kazuki's thighs, where he could feel the pulse of the artery beating rhythmically away. He was comfortable and warm. The breeze was mild and fresh, and the moon was glowing on Kazuki's cheek.

They slept like children.

X

Notes: Thanks so much for reading (if anyone is actually reading, lol)! Please review and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Getbackers series. This was written purely for entertainment purposes and not profit.

Chapter 3:

Juubei woke up to a chilly gray dawn and found his fingers sticky with blood. He panicked briefly, thinking that he had nicked Kazuki with his fingernails, but there were no signs of pain on Kazuki's soft, sleeping face, and a quick inspection revealed no gouges on Kazuki's thigh.

The sound of muffled footsteps from the hallway had him scrambling up from the futon and lurching towards the window. He knew the nurses would arrive soon to change the basin of water and the browning lemon rinds.

The climb down was far more difficult for his sleep-sluggish fingers and he slipped on the dew to fall the last few feet to the ground. Quickly, he muffled his grunt of pain on the damp grass. Squinting in the dim morning light, he picked up his fallen needles, gave them a perfunctory wipe, and hurried back to his own quarters. With a little grimace of disgust, he washed the blood from his fingertips.

He slept heavily until the sun on his eyelids stirred him to a new day, and he ate heartily at breakfast before running up to Kazuki's room. As he expected, he was denied entrance again. But instead of moping in the corridor, he ran outdoors, out into the sunshine and wealthy green Fuuchouin grounds. He escaped into the forest and breathed deeply of the scent of damp grass and growing, living earth.

Just as Kazuki used to do, he dug up the palest and loveliest of wildflowers and wrapped their roots in damp cloth. He loaded his pockets with fresh green leaves, little white star-shaped rocks, moist petals, and anything that looked and smelled of the woods. If he could have bottled up the birdsong and the dappled sunshine on the ground, he would have done it.

That night, he climbed up to Kazuki's room again and sprinkled his comforter with pink petals. He pressed the leaves and the flowers into Kazuki's hands and was rewarded with a warm, sleepy smile. He sank the forest pebbles into Kazuki's washbasin, so that when he washed his face in the morning, he would see them winking in the reflected sunlight.

The Fuuchouin household breathed a sigh of relief when their heir made a full recovery by the end of the week. The chilled lobster slices were brought out again for a belated birthday dinner and while fireworks were soaring into the night sky, Kazuki grasped Juubei's hand and leaned against him with a happy little sigh.

"This is the best birthday ever," Kazuki whispered, as his face was lit up with the glow of gold, red, and green starbursts. "I'm so glad you're here with me, Juubei."

"Yes, I'm glad too," Juubei whispered back.

But Juubei noticed that Kazuki was odd in the days after his sickness. He walked and sat gingerly, as if he was uncomfortable in his own body. He was quieter and gloomier than he ever was during the golden heat of summer. Instead of basking and growing ruddy in the sun as he loved to do, he shied away from the beauty of the outdoors and spent long hours with his mother in the family rooms.

Soon, Juubei had to return to the Kakei house for his studies, and they parted on a rainy day, standing close while the water ran down the tips of Kazuki's parasol. Juubei memorized the warmth of Kazuki's breath and the brush of Kazuki's fingers against his wrist. He kept them in his mind while Sakura dozed on his shoulder during the ride home. In her sleep, she smiled at the thought seeing Grandmother again, while his heart was heavy to return to his stern-faced father and the pale, faded colors of the family library.

His father immediately put him to work studying. Almost as if to punish him for his brief snatches of happiness that summer, Juubei's father kept him in the library day after day with huge, dusty tomes of acupuncture texts. Throughout the grim imprisonment, Juubei read and copied until he feared he would grow round-shouldered and that the ink smudges on his fingertips would sink in permanently.

But when a message came from the Fuuchouin house that Kazuki was sick again, Juubei dropped his books without a second thought, called for his horse, and stole away within the hour.

He expected a sickly, swooning Kazuki, but instead arrived in the middle of a tantrum.

"What's happening?" Juubei asked a passing disciple, when he heard the sound of breaking crockery from the upper level.

"I'm afraid Master Kazuki is in a bit of a temper," the disciple replied.

Juubei rushed upstairs to Kazuki's room, led by the familiar scent of lemons and medicine as well as the sound of frenzied shouting. He halted at the threshold in time to see Kazuki fling a porcelain decanter at a cabinet across the room. The empty bottle cracked and fell to the ground, where the shards of two more jugs were already scattered.

"Young Master, no!" cried one of the nurses, while the other one was attempting to calm Kazuki down. There was a cup of black, steaming medicine on a low table as well as a dripping strainer and a few scattered hand towels. By the way the flushed, angry boy was swaying on his feet, Juubei assumed they had already fed him some of the stinking brew and were now attempting to give him another dose.

"I won't!" Kazuki shouted. His voice was high with panic as he flung himself away from the brawny-armed nurse and scrambled for the window. Juubei feared he would jump out but Kazuki only threw open the shutters to lean out and gasp for breath.

"I won't!" Kazuki repeated. "Take it away. I won't drink it!"

"But it's for your own good," said the brawny nurse, and picked up the cup and held it out as if she were going to force it on him.

"Please, Master Kazuki," the other one said gently. "We just want you to be healthy again. Madam Physician said-"

"No!" Kazuki shrieked, and pounded the windowsill with one angry, curled fist. "I don't care what that old hag said! And I don't care what Mother said! That stuff makes me sick and it makes me hurt. I hate it and I refuse to drink it. You can't make me!"

"Master Kazuki," the brawny nurse said in a cold, unflinching voice. "It is our duty as members of the Fuuchouin household to look after you. You are sick, and we _will_ do whatever it takes to make you well again."

"But what is my sickness?" cried Kazuki. "Why do I have to take this medicine again? Why won't anyone tell me?"

"It is not our place to know. I am sorry, Master Kazuki, but we follow the orders given to us by your Lady Mother and the physician." She threw a glance at her nervous companion. "Hiro, please get the spoon."

"No! Stay away!" Kazuki's voice broke on a sob and he crumpled into a heap before the window. When he raised his head, he saw Juubei standing aghast in the doorway.

"Juubei!" Kazuki wailed and reached out to him as if drowning. He lurched towards Juubei and fell to his knees.

Fierce loyalty made Juubei push past the two nurses without care and slump down next to Kazuki, drawing his friend into a protective embrace.

"It's alright, Kazuki," Juubei murmured, as he patted the trembling body. "It's alright now."

"Oh, Juubei," Kazuki sobbed, and buried his face into Juubei's chest. "Keep them away. Don't let them force me to drink it. Please!"

"Yes, yes, of course," Juubei said thoughtlessly, only caring that his friend was in pain and that he must somehow alleviate it. "I won't let them, I promise. I'll protect you, always."

"That's enough," someone said from the doorway, and Juubei felt Kazuki grow rigid with fear.

He turned, as the two advancing nurses turned, to see Lady Fuuchouin stepping elegantly into the room.

"Mother!" gasped Kazuki. The hem of her kimono hissed on the tatami as she walked over to them and looked coldly down at Juubei, her eyes like slivers of ice.

He cringed under her stare and felt like a child caught brawling. His arms went slack around Kazuki and he shuffled away as if she had verbally commanded him.

"Kazuki, what is the meaning of this?" she said.

"Mother, I…"

"You are acting like a spoiled brat. I know I taught you better than to throw things and then cower and snivel on the floor."

"But Mother, I _can't _drink it! They were trying to force me!"

"Enough. They are your nurses. It is your privilege to have them care for you, and you shame yourself by acting this way. Even a child knows that when he is sick, he takes his medicine, no matter how bitter."

"But _why_?" Kazuki cried out, and he buried his face in his hands so that his words were muffled by sobs. "_Why_, Mother? Why am I sick again, when I was just sick a few weeks ago? Why did they say that I must take this medicine for the rest of my life? What's wrong with my body? What's _wrong _with me?"

Juubei watched her face soften as Kazuki wept and clutched at his chest like his heart was breaking. "Oh, my son," she sighed, and the stiff line of her shoulders slackened, as if the strength had gone out of her. She knelt by Kazuki and touched his cheek.

"Miss Hiro and Miss Mika, and you too, Juubei," she said. "Please leave us for a moment. I must speak with Kazuki alone."

With a worried glance between them, the two nurses turned on their heels and quietly exited the room. Juubei hesitated a bit longer.

"Perhaps I should stay," he began.

"No." Her word fell like an ax, swift and final. "This isn't the time for friends to coddle each other. Kazuki has asked me a question, and I must answer him truthfully, as I would answer an adult. In turn, he must bear the truth as an adult bears it. Do you understand, Juubei?"

"Yes, Lady Fuuchouin," said Juubei, and dipped into a respectful bow. He left and tried not to look at Kazuki's miserable face. As he slid the door shut, he saw Lady Fuuchouin gently slide a hand through Kazuki's brown hair. For a moment, she looked as miserable as he did.

Though Juubei knew he was away from home without permission and should have ridden back that afternoon, he stayed the entire evening in hopes of seeing Kazuki again. When he was denied further entrance to Kazuki's room during the day, he waited until everyone else was asleep and snuck away to Kazuki's window again.

But Kazuki took an unusually long time to open the window that night. Juubei felt like he had been standing outside for hours before the shutters creaked open and Kazuki poked his head out. Juubei suspected that Kazuki had not intended to let him in at all, but had felt bad for making Juubei linger outdoors on a chilly night.

Kazuki did not stop him from climbing in, but he shied away from Juubei as he had never done before and buried himself into the futon.

"What's the matter?" Juubei whispered, gently laying a hand on Kazuki's back, surprised when Kazuki edged away. He felt his pulse quicken with fear at what Lady Fuuchouin might have said, what terrible disease she might have revealed to Kazuki. "Please, tell me what your mother said. I'm so worried."

He heard a sniffle from the cocoon that Kazuki had built with the comforter. "I don't want you to know," came the muffled reply.

An image came of Kazuki dying of some incurable illness, lingering painfully with the constant stain of medicine on his lips, and Juubei's chest constricted painfully. "Is it… is it fatal?" he asked tentatively, and it felt as if he himself were dying.

Kazuki threw the comforter off immediately. "Oh, no! Nothing like that."

"Thank goodness!" Juubei said with a gasp relief. "So what is it, then? What could be so bad? A disease?"

Kazuki sighed and laid back on the futon, hands clasped over his belly. "Mother says it isn't a disease at all. She says that I was born with it and it's a special _trait _that occurs in the Fuuchouin family. It's supposed to be very rare. She says that some people call it a gift."

He glanced at Juubei and his eyes moistened briefly before he turned away again. "I hate it," he declared. "I can't bear to tell you about it, Juubei, I just can't."

"Oh, Kazuki, why not? Maybe I can help, so why not?"

"Because it's disgusting! I hate what it does to me. I don't think it's a gift at all. It's more like a curse! Oh, Juubei, you'd be disgusted if you knew."

"Kazuki!" he gasped. "How could say that? I would never-"

"You _would_! I know you would, because even I'm disgusted with myself." He curled up into a little ball and refused to look at Juubei. He moaned softly, as if he were in pain. "I hate this. I feel so sick I could die."

"B-but, the medicine! It helps, doesn't it? That's why you've got to take it, right?"

"Yes. I have to take it each month. Mother says it helps… with the _transition_." He hissed the last word out between his teeth, as if the sound of it was poison, and curled into an even tighter ball.

"Transition? Kazuki, what does that mean?" But Kazuki remained silent and unmoving, and Juubei felt a pang of hurt. They had always shared each other's secrets. Juubei still remembered the sure, steady thumping of Kazuki's heart from the time they used to sleep in each other's arms, pressed so close together that they knew each other breath for breath and beat for beat. It hurt him that Kazuki should turn away from him.

"Kazuki," he said softly, and moved closer. He saw his friend tremble ever so slightly, and he knew that Kazuki was struggling not to cry. Instantly, the selfish hurt melted away and he was overcome by sympathy.

"Kazuki," he whispered and reached out a hand, but held himself back an inch from touching. "Please remember this. I consider you to be my dearest friend. Even if it wasn't my destiny to protect you, even if it wasn't my duty as the Kakei heir, I would still be most loyal to you. You are my best friend and I _promise_, you would never, ever disgust me, no matter what. I may not be able to cure your pain, or even understand it, and I won't ask that you tell me about it before you're ready. But please know that I'm here for you, that I'm always here for you."

There was no answer, except for the thin, shaky hiss of Kazuki's breathing. Juubei felt his heart drop.

"Do you want me to go, then?" he asked gently.

"No!" Kazuki gasped and twisted in his comforter to grab Juubei's arm. "No, please don't go. Stay with me tonight? Lie next to me, like you used to do?"

"Of course," said Juubei, and uncurled Kazuki's hand from his arm so he could settle himself on the futon. Kazuki rolled up against him as soon as he lay down, and buried his face into Juubei's chest. Slowly, his breathing calmed.

"Oh, Juubei," he sighed. "You must have thought I was a complete brat today."

"You were upset. I understand."

"Maybe, but I know I was wrong and I shouldn't have been so beastly to Miss Hiro and Miss Mika. You don't have to pretend otherwise, Juubei."

Juubei smiled in the dark. "Alright, then. You were a horrible, rotten, little pig and you deserve to be whipped ten times by the both of them, eat nothing but carrots for a year, and then be forced to marry their daughters for good measure."

"Shut up," Kazuki giggled, and pinched him.

Juubei chuckled and was gracious enough not to pinch back. "But you _will _take your medicine from now on, won't you?" he said, growing serious again. "Please say you will. If it helps you, then you must take it."

Kazuki looked up at him, growing round-eyed, and Juubei groaned inwardly when he recognized that cajoling, pleading look. "I'll drink it if you serve it to me," he whispered, and touched his upper lip with the tip of his pink tongue.

Juubei stared at Kazuki's parted lips and felt himself grow hot at the rather innocent suggestion. There was that forbidden swoop of pleasure in his stomach and he had to blink hard not to envision Kazuki's soft mouth opening to his urging, and then closing around the porcelain cup like a kissing rosebud.

"Of course, Kazu," he heard himself saying, his voice thick and husky. "I'll be the one to give you your medicine."

Kazuki closed his eyes and smiled a sleepy smile. He pressed close and slept, while Juubei bit his lips in the dark until the blush in his cheeks faded away.

X

And he kept his promise. After that whispered nighttime conversation, he became the cupbearer for his prince. He no longer had to sneak in through the window like a thief.

The ladies and nurses and even Madam Physician herself parted like waves when he entered with the scalding decanter wrapped in a towel.

Like a knight, he went on his knees before Kazuki's futon and poured out the black medicine through the strainer and into the royal cup. True to his word, Kazuki always drank it, with both his and Juubei's hands cupped around the hot porcelain. Besides a small grimace at the bitter taste, Kazuki never complained again of how much he hated it, and the grimace was easily wiped away when Juubei produced a secret sweetmeat from his pocket or a little flower and slipped it under Kazuki's comforter with a mischievous wink.

He never failed in his task. Even when his Master or his Father kept him away for the rest of the month with hard training and hard reading, he never failed to drop everything and travel to the Fuuchouin manor as soon as the crisp paper letter arrived, informing him that it was time for Kazuki's medication.

He watched Kazuki closely and noticed slight, almost invisible changes from month to month. There was the way he walked, sometimes gingerly and sometimes with a swinging stride. He wore his kimono differently at times, and there were always the odd, little quirks in the way he moved, as if his body was somehow constantly shifting and changing. Sometimes, on his way from the hearth to Kazuki's room, Juubei would sniff at the medicine he was carrying and try to distinguish which herbs were present. The physician would never tell him and his level of expertise was not enough to separate the ingredients. It all smelled like one hot, bitter mess to him.

Autumn soon arrived with gusty winds and swirls of golden leaves, and Sakura was rewarded a short holiday for her birthday. She chose Juubei instead of one of the grooms to escort her to the Fuuchouin family estate, and Juubei had a small moment of triumph when Father had to agree to oblige Sakura.

The birthday holiday became a vacation for the three of them, and they spent many days in quiet companionship. They took trips to the villages in the open-topped carriage and had tea before breakfast. They took long, idle walks through the Fuuchouin gardens and played chess under the sun. But Juubei noted with some smug satisfaction that with the three of them together, Kazuki never suggested that they go fishing or racing or exploring the little hollows in the woods where he and Juubei used to hide. Those places were their secret and belonged to them alone.

One lovely summer day found the three of them sitting together under the pavilion with a pot of tea, when Sakura suddenly leaned towards him with an odd, eager look in her eyes.

"Juubei, do you know what I'd very much like to have for my birthday?" she asked. "I want to go to the city."

"The _city_?" said Juubei. "Whatever for?"

"Because I want to see it! And I want you to escort me. You've been there already, but Mother won't let me go because she says it's not maidenly of me. Well, it isn't fair. I'm a woman now and I'm dying of curiosity to know what it's like out there."

"But Sakura, I don't think Mother or Father would allow it."

She frowned and set down her teacup with a decisive click. "Of course they won't. I was born a girl and they think girls are to be locked up. They make an enormous fuss whenever I so much as go down to the village. If they had their way I'd still be sleeping in the cradle."

"Well, I think it's a splendid idea!" Kazuki said suddenly. "Juubei, she's absolutely right. It isn't fair that Sakura has never seen the city and I think we should both escort her. It's her birthday, after all."

"Don't act so sweet," Juubei said, recognizing that eager gleam in Kazuki's eye. "You're just saying it because you want to go yourself."

"So what if I do?" said Kazuki, pouting. "I've been _dying _to go for ages, you know that. Please, Juubei? Say you'll come with us."

"Yes!" Sakura chimed in. "We should all go! Juubei, you'll agree, won't you?"

"The both of you do realize that neither Lady Fuuchouin or our Mother would agree, right?" he said dryly.

"We don't have to tell them, silly," said Kazuki, whispering as if their mothers were listening behind the bamboo trees, ready to leap out at any moment. "We could just say we were visiting your relatives or something, and then sneak off into the city."

"That would never work."

"We could tell them we're planning a trip to the village!" said Sakura, in a rush of excitement. "We could take the carriage, but instead of riding to the village, we'll go to Shinjuku!"

"_That _would never work."

"It would be a secret adventure!" cried Kazuki, jumping up and laughing. "We could disguise ourselves so that no one would see us!"

"It'll be so much fun!" Sakura agreed.

Both of them turned their bright eager faces to Juubei, who cringed. Kazuki went to him and took his hand.

"Oh, Juubei, please say yes," he whispered miserably, his eyes going wide and moist, like the rims of their teacups.

Juubei groaned.

X

They put their scheme together that evening. Juubei, who had the most experience, would be their guide and the leader of their expedition. They would take Kazuki's open-topped carriage out for a supposed ride to the village, but instead take it to the far edges of the quiet little towns until they got to a highway. The groom, charmed by Sakura to be discreet, would look after the carriage while Juubei would lead the three of them to a bus stop, which would take them to the heart of Shinjuku.

The plan had Kazuki and Sakura going into fits of excited giggles, and they could barely sleep for the anticipation.

A few days before their secret excursion, Juubei took a short trip to the nearest town and bought street clothes for Kazuki and Sakura. He chose a rather inconspicuous-looking sweater and a pair of jeans for Kazuki and, blushing, picked out a yellow sundress for Sakura.

Kazuki and Sakura excitedly tore the clothes out of his hands as soon as he brought them over that afternoon, and scrambled for the bedroom to change. Juubei received a shock when he walked in on them later and found Kazuki in the dress while Sakura was squeezed into the jeans and sweater.

"But you can't wear that!" he sputtered, staring half in horror and half in amusement at the near-bursting seams of Sakura's jeans. She hobbled in a turn to look at him, the sweater stretched tight over her breasts and her hips nearly spilling out over the top of the pants, which were clearly meant for Kazuki's skinny legs and not the burgeoning body of a young woman.

"Why not?" she said with a pretty pout. "You bought it for me, so why not?"

"I _didn't_," he replied. "You can't wear it because it doesn't fit you."

"But if it's what the other girls are wearing in the city, then it's what I want to wear."

"It _isn't_. Sakura, the pants are clearly meant for Kazuki, right, Kazu…?"

He trailed off when he got a good look at Kazuki, who was peering back at him through the mirror. The color suited him well; he looked like a buttercup. When he turned, like a dancer, on one foot, the pale yellow skirt flared out like petals from his slender stem of a body. He said nothing, just stared at Juubei with those wide brown eyes and smiled with those alluring pink lips.

"You see!" said Sakura. "Kazuki should wear the dress and I should wear these." She took a few steps around the room and nearly tripped over her tightly bound legs. "These are wonderful!" she declared, enchanted by the novelty of her first pair of blue jeans.

Juubei sighed, knowing he was beaten. "Fine!" he relented. "But not those."

Kazuki smiled again and turned back to the mirror with a twirl, as if Juubei needed any more dazzling.

The next morning, Juubei went to town again and returned the boy's jeans and bought Sakura a pair that fit properly. Impulsively, he also bought a sunhat that matched Kazuki's yellow dress.

The day of their Great Plan started smoothly. The groom, charmed into a raspberry-hued blush by Sakura, was more than willing to drive them to their destination and then agree to come pick them up again in the evening.

Kazuki and Sakura were trembling with excitement under their concealing coats, which they stripped off and left in the. On the bus, they pressed their faces up against the glass windows and gaped in childish awe at the gray road and the trees speeding past. Twice, Juubei had to pull Kazuki back in after he tried to climb up to the roof.

The city was as noisy and colorful as Juubei remembered it. The sun gleamed in flashes off passing cars and the windows of countless shops. Smoke and fumes and tantalizing, steamy scents from the restaurants, and the perfumes from the necks of passing women and the good strong smell of leather all mixed into a heady aroma that stunned Kazuki and Sakura into a motionless daze.

The daze only lasted for a minute before they were both dashing off from the bus stop at a mad run, with Juubei chasing after them. He grabbed at Kazuki's yellow sleeve and the neck of Sakura's sweater before they could disappear, laughing, into the crowd.

Anchored securely to each of Juubei's arms, they pulled him through a tour of the sweetshops and the clothing boutiques and the perfumed flower stands. Juubei watched in consternation as his pocket money dwindled throughout the day: Kazuki had to have one of every type of candy from the sweetshop and Sakura _needed _the cat-shaped hairpin, they just _had _to have matching plastic rings from the grinning merchant's stand and coins to toss at the feet of a nearby street musician.

They went to a park where Kazuki rolled in the thinning grass and ate so many sweets that he grew flushed and dizzy. Sakura sat him down and fanned him with her handkerchief while Juubei ran to get him a drink of water, terrified that he would vomit. But Kazuki was up in a minute, complexion clear and dry, as if he hadn't been sick a day in his life, and continued to pet and play with every dog in the park.

They dragged Juubei into a cinema and sat on either side of him through a gruesome ghost movie, digging their nails into his arms. Though Juubei lost his appetite once they left the theater, Kazuki and Sakura pulled him into a café for a lunch of coffee, buttered toast, and three slabs of greasy pizza.

The adventure continued with trips to the bookstore, the museum, a manga shop, makeup counters, and a brief stroll into an adult video store before they were chased out by the shopkeeper. Kazuki insisted on buying a tube of red lipstick and smeared it on his mouth like sauce.

"It's what the girls in the city do," he said, when Juubei tried to get him to wash it off while simultaneously trying to stop Sakura from crimsoning her mouth as well.

"What's that?" Kazuki asked suddenly, pointing to a tall dark building that jutted upwards to the sky. A cluster of smaller buildings surrounded it like a fortress, and they were all run-down and dark like the skyscraper.

"That's what they call the Limitless Fortress," said Juubei. It was odd. He hadn't paid much attention to the Fortress before, though he knew what it was. But now that he looked at it, the silent, dark shapes of the buildings looked more and more like a stain, swallowing up a chunk of Shinjuku's color and noise. He looked at Kazuki and had the sudden, superstitious urge to yank his friend away, far away from the shadow of the Limitless Fortress.

But Kazuki had already flitted away to look at a vendor's stall, like a yellow butterfly going to a new flower to drink its fill.

For the rest of the day, Juubei had his hands full controlling his sensually overwhelmed sister and his capricious, mischievous best friend. He had barely stopped Sakura from wandering into a gentleman's club before he had to drag Kazuki away from two men who stank of cigarettes and wanted to "take the pretty girl out for a drink." More than once, he had to push Sakura and Kazuki out of the way of oncoming traffic because they were two distracted to move. He was bone-weary by evening, when they stopped for an informal dinner of yakitori.

"Oh, look!" Kazuki said, pointing his sauce-stained finger at a jingling ice-cream cart. "Juubei, I want one."

"Well, you can't have one," Juubei said wearily.

"Why not?"

"Because," he replied through gritted teeth, "I don't have any cash left to spend. There's only enough for the bus fare home and we need that."

Kazuki went round-eyed for a moment and his hungry mouth pursed in a line of confused discontentment. Then, he brightened. "You know," he said, "sometimes when I want a snack, and I ask very, very nicely, Miss Cook will let me have a bun or a bowl of porridge, even when it's not mealtime. Maybe if I ask the ice cream lady very nicely…"

"No, Kazuki, you can't do something like that!" Juubei protested, but Kazuki was already halfway to the cart.

He watched, stunned at his friend's audacity, as Kazuki went smiling and skipping up to the counter. Unbelievingly, Juubei watched Kazuki dip into curtsey and come up with the smile of a newborn baby while fluttering his lashes like a practiced coquette. Even from half a block away, Juubei heard the answering coo of the woman who owned the cart.

A minute later, Kazuki came dancing back with a frosty chocolate cone in each hand.

"Here!" Kazuki said, and thrust one of them at Juubei. "Don't let Sakura see, alright? Or she'll be sour that I didn't get one for her."

Flabbergasted, Juubei took it. "How did you do that?" he demanded, as Kazuki lapped at the melting treat with a hum of pleasure.

"Like I said, I just asked her very, very nicely if I could have an ice cream, and she called me a darling and a pretty girl, and she gave me a cone and then another cone for my nice boyfriend. I suppose that's you."

A gob of ice cream stuck in Juubei's throat and set him coughing. "She called me your _what_?"

"Juubei!" Sakura chirped, suddenly appearing at his elbow. "A nice man asked me to go home with him, but I told him I already had dinner. Do you think we should go for tea, just to be polite?"

"No!" he sputtered. "And don't say 'why not?' It's time to go home, that's why. Come on."

Jamming the rest of the ice cream in his mouth, he grabbed both of his charges by the hand and started dragging them towards the bus stop. Just as he expected, the day of excitement and sugar and running caught up with them and both Sakura and Kazuki fell asleep on his shoulder as soon as the bus started it's rolling journey.

He had to shake them both awake when they arrived, and they stumbled beside him in their sleepy walk home. The groom was waiting eagerly in the dark, reins trembling in his hands and flushed with eagerness. Juubei expected that the youth had been dreaming of a romantic twilight encounter with Sakura, but she walked past him, sticky and tired, to slump into the carriage.

Kazuki was more energetic, and he skipped as soon as they reached the manor. "One of the horses threw a shoe so we stayed in the village all day," he fibbed cheerfully to the inquiring household members, who had come to greet them.

Everyone saw the pink glow of happiness on Kazuki's cheek and the sleepy, contented look in his eyes, and assumed the three of them had spent a lazy day in the village buying useless trinkets and perhaps sneaking a harmless cup or two of sake. No one commented that Kazuki was still wearing the butter-yellow sundress and a smear of red lipstick.

Sakura was more discreet, with her coat pulled up to her chin and keeping her eyes down as she led the procession into the house. Kazuki followed after with Juubei trailing behind. But once they were out of sight of the household members, Kazuki turned around in a whirl of yellow and pattered up to Juubei.

Juubei's eyes went wide when Kazuki stepped up close and embraced him about the neck. In the dark, lit only by the flickering flames of the stone lanterns, Kazuki's face was soft and warm, his parted lips as red as his tongue. Juubei could feel the heat of Kazuki's body so close to his own, even the beat of his heart and the sigh of his breath.

"Thank you, Juubei," he said. "Thank you for showing me the city. I had a wonderful time and I'll always remember today."

Kazuki stood up on his tiptoes and craned his neck to the side. Juubei felt his ironclad family code slam down like an ax when he realized that Kazuki wanted to kiss his cheek, and he jerked away with a gasp.

Unfortunately, the motion threw the both of them off-balance and what was intended as a friendly peck became far more intimate. As Kazuki slumped fully into Juubei's arms, his lips slid across Juubei's face and mouth to give Juubei a taste, the slightest taste, of him.

Like the first time, it only lasted a second before Kazuki pulled back. Like the first time, Kazuki blinked in surprise, but not in displeasure, and his eyes sparkled with some unreadable emotion.

Juubei stood very still, with his mouth slack and his head dizzy. The greasy taste of lipstick lingered on his tongue, as well as the warm, wonderful, _forbidden_ taste of Kazuki himself. He thought he shivered.

And all the while, Kazuki looked up at him with that inscrutable look, his eyes warm and brown and twinkling and his mouth smiling. Juubei's eyes went as round as coins when he felt Kazuki lean upwards again, but this time, Kazuki simply bumped noses with him like a playful dog and whispered, "Oh, Juubei."

Like the sweetly flowing river, like silk, he slid out of Juubei's arms and turned, half-dancing, to follow Sakura inside.

A breath whooshed from Juubei's aching lungs, one he didn't know he was holding. It came to him then, like a painfully sweet blow, that he was infatuated. He knew, as much as it was wrong, that he wanted Kazuki as an ordinary youth should want a sweetheart.

He knew then, with painful yearning, that he wanted to be the boyfriend that the ice cream vendor mistook him for. He wanted to take Kazuki out into the city and hold hands with him on the street. He wanted to kiss him and watch movies with him and buy him a thousand worthless little trinkets. For once, he wanted to be an ordinary teenaged boy with an ordinary teenaged sweetheart. He wanted Kazuki.

That image still lingered in his mind and the kiss still burned on his lips when he arrived at his rooms. But his contentment vanished into shock when he saw Lady Fuuchouin waiting for him there, her tall, imposing form blocking the doorway like a prison gate.

He felt himself growing pale with fright, not because he feared her knowing of their rule breaking, but because he feared she had seen the naked joy on his face and knew, as clearly as if she had seen him with his finger in the honey pot, that he had tasted the sweetness of love. And that he was hungry for more.

But her eyes did not grow dark with anger. She smiled at him as he bowed and stammered out a greeting.

To his surprise, she presented him with a red envelope full of money, more than twice the amount of his monthly allowance.

"Please accept this as reimbursement for today," she said. "I know entertaining my son isn't cheap, and neither is a trip to the city."

"Oh, no!" gasped Juubei. "Lady Fuuchouin, I couldn't possibly accept… Wait, how did you know we went to… I mean, what makes you think we went to Shinjuku? I mean, the _city_…"

She chuckled, Kazuki's same gurgling chuckle, and put the red envelope in his hand. "Oh, Kazuki might think he's skilled at hiding things from me. But, like all children, he has a lot to learn."

"But… I… I'm sor-"

"Don't worry. I'm not angry with you. It's true that I'd rather he didn't expose himself to the outside. But I suppose if I had my way, he'd never grow up either. I've always known that he wanted to see the city, and I'm glad it was you who finally showed it to him, because you would always keep him safe."

"No, don't try to give it back," she said, when he held out the red envelope in his shaking hands. "Think of the trip as _my _gift to Kazuki. I've always wanted to give him what he truly wanted for his birthday, not what was customary."

"Y-yes. Thank you, Lady Fuuchouin," he replied, and bowed again.

When she turned to leave, she paused and looked over her shoulder. "He didn't eat anything bad for him, did he?" she said with the unshakable mother's concern.

"Uhh, no. Not at all," Juubei replied, and decided not to tell her about the candy and greasy food.

X

He was in love. A night of sleep and a cold wash did nothing to wake him from that madness.

In the pinkish glow of sunrise, he watched Kazuki stumble to the breakfast table with messy hair, an unwashed face, and droopy eyes, and felt his stomach turn like a flopping fish. He recognized it now. He was in love with sleepy, grumbling, spoiled, needy, sweet, _wonderful_ Kazuki, his dear friend and his prince.

He was overcome by a dizzy, swooping sensation whenever he brushed hands with Kazuki, as if he was stuck forever in a fall, and he knew it was love. He knew it as clearly, _more _clearly, than he knew the changing seasons, or his father's stern thin-lipped face, or even the glinting sharpness of his own needles.

He knew it was wrong. He knew, better than Grandmother with her searching, superstitious eyes, that it would come to no good. It was forbidden for prominent members of the Kakei family to ever love or marry into the Fuuchouin family, and any historical instances had ended in shame and expulsion from both clans.

He should have distanced himself immediately. He should have removed himself from the Fuuchouin estate and from Kazuki, and thrown himself into training and study. He should have punished himself with banishment and hard work until he purged himself of these wonderful, forbidden feelings, until the cold, simple balance of master and protector was restored.

"We shouldn't spend so much time together anymore," he wanted to say, as he watched Kazuki arrange chrysanthemums, leaning close to feel their feathery petals against his cheek.

"I should leave," was on the tip of his tongue, as he and Kazuki read poetry aloud to each other, and they were sitting so close he could see the gentle pulse of Kazuki's neck.

"I love you and it's wrong of me," he muffled up in his hand, as he watched Kazuki create bone-crushing waves with a string between two fingers, his legs rooted to the forest ground and the wind in his hair, drawing power from the natural elements the technique was based on.

"I wish we weren't the heirs of our clans, so that I can take you out to the city whenever you want," he whispered so quietly no one could hear, as he knelt beside a waxy, pale Kazuki during the monthly sickness, while the setting sun outside turned the clouds as pink as candy.

"I love you," he swallowed back into his throat, when Kazuki's voice squeaked and cracked one month and came out as smoothly as music the next.

"I love you," he thought secretly, whenever he left and whenever he arrived.

But he never said it. To protect himself if Kazuki didn't love him back and to protect the both of them if Kazuki did, he suffered in secret the sweetest torture in the world.

And when the world tumbled into winter, and Kazuki dressed as silvery white as the snow to greet him on his visits, collapsing into his arms with the familiar gasp of "Oh, Juubei," he thought, _I can live like this. I can love him like this and never have to tell anyone. _

And Juubei loved and ached and lived in that half-painful, half-ecstatic madness. He was miserably happy. He was blinded by it, the awful sweetness of love, and not once did he remember the dark, foreboding words of his Grandmother. Not once did he, whose senses had been dulled by love, feel the darkness approaching like the lengthening autumn shadows.

X

Thanks so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own the Getbackers series. This was written purely for entertainment purposes and not profit.

Chapter 4:

He must have been careless. He must have made some mistake and let his hunger for Kazuki show in his face. In the snowy days of winter, when it was deathly cold outside and they were alone in the parlor with the softly glowing brazier, he must have loosened his grip on his carefully guarded love.

For Kazuki now looked at him differently, with eyes that warmed whenever he stepped into the room, with a tremulous and eager smile whenever he called Kazuki's name. It was as if whatever magic that set his blood racing and his heart pounding had refused to be contained any longer and infected Kazuki, creeping, like the flickering light, across the fire-warmed tatami to touch Kazuki with a tender finger.

As the snow piled calf-deep on the ground and clumped on the branches like the purest white flowers, Kazuki's bright, teasing glances were heated whenever he looked in Juubei's direction. He touched Juubei, not with the playfulness of a childhood friend, but with new, tentative desire. He took Juubei's arm as they stepped over the crunchy frost for their morning walks and leaned close so that the side of his mouth brushed Juubei's chin, dangerously close for a kiss. Whenever he passed Juubei a cup of tea from across the table, his fingers lingered on Juubei's hand and his reflection on the polished surface was smiling and coy.

Neither of them dared to even whisper of it. They danced around each other like the whirling snowflakes. They skirted each other like two lovers in a maze.

Juubei feared constantly that Lady Fuuchouin's cool, searching gaze would sweep the room and stop on his shamelessly smiling lips, on his eyes that were darkening with sinful love. He feared she would catch the tension in the air between him and her son, that she would sniff it out like a hound sniffs out a bleeding rabbit. He was afraid her face would pale with anger when she realized he was shamelessly, hopelessly in love with Kazuki, and that he would be sent from the Fuuchouin house in disgrace.

But most of all, he was afraid of the heat in Kazuki's eyes, as palpable as a caress. He was afraid of their combined passions. If it had been only his own futile love, Juubei could have kept it a secret forever. But when Kazuki bared his leg before the sweetly smoking brazier to "warm up" while smiling at Juubei with all the clumsy seduction of a teenager in love, Juubei felt his heart soar in ecstasy and plunge in terror.

Like wary predators, they circled each other, wanting each other, hungry for each other, and afraid. Juubei knew that the slightest push would send either of them over the edge. If he let his hand linger just a second too long on Kazuki's shoulder, if he stared just a minute longer at the fire lit highlights in Kazuki's hair, if he even brushed so much of a fingertip against the smooth softness of Kazuki's leg, he would not, _could _not stop himself from crossing the room and tumbling with Kazuki into a mess of kisses and sighs and quiet little moans.

When the air grew sweet and warm and the first shoots were poking their green heads out of the ground, Juubei often caught Kazuki sighing or gazing dazedly out the window. Sometimes, inexplicably, Kazuki would moan softly and grasp at his own hair or neck, as if he could hardly contain his growing sexuality.

From the soft brown hair of his head to the rosy nails of his toes, Kazuki was blooming with youth and loveliness. As the woods were slowly melting into a moist green spring, slowly growing aware of new life and new freshness, Kazuki was becoming aware of his growing, desiring body.

He had paled through the winter but the sunlight of spring warmed his complexion into a golden cream. He had handsome angles and hard muscles one month and then the soft curves of a young woman in the next. Like the unpredictable, gushing, changing, bursting river, Kazuki shifted and changed, but was always desirable and always desiring.

"The needle and string as one," he recited to Juubei as they stood together in the woods, during a secret training river water churning before them like a pot of soup. The touch of his hand on Juubei's wrist felt like a lover's touch. Juubei gave the plump mound of Kazuki's thumb a gentle squeeze.

"Thread the string through thy needle and tailor whatever will defeat your opponent," Kazuki whispered, eyes closed as if he was chanting a springtime spell, a prayer to the river. The warm puff of his breath on Juubei's cheek might have been the exhalation after a kiss.

"Are you ready, Juubei?" said Kazuki, stepping back and pinching a bell between two fingers. It twinkled in the springtime sun.

He took a breath and moved his arm in circular slash. The bell flashed gold and the string within tore the air as it lashed out, quicker than an arrow.

Juubei exhaled sharply and drew two needles from his wristband. The string came towards him like a cutting wave and he caught it at its crest, bringing it down and throwing himself into the dance of the Needle-String Harmony.

The next attack came like a razor-sharp net, four strings at once arcing over his head to trap him like a fish. He sidestepped and drew two more needles, crossing them in his palm and threading the strings as lightly as if he were lifting stitches from cloth. With a turn of the wrist, both arms bending, he drew the strings about himself like a current. They were under his control. He could tailor all five of them to break a boulder, or shear a single blade of grass.

"Oh, very good!" Kazuki called, his laughter tinkling as bright and golden as his bells.

Distracted, Juubei missed a step and one of the strings left the flow of its current and whipped towards him. He gasped as it struck him below the eye and left a burning, bleeding gash. He recoiled immediately. The needles fell from his hands and the strings shuddered briefly before cascading to the ground like fallen water.

"Oh, no! Juubei, your face!" Kazuki cried out, and came rushing towards him. With both hands on Juubei's shoulders, Kazuki leaned up to peer at the wound. Juubei's breath hitched. They were close enough to kiss. If a passing disciple saw them, with Kazuki up against Juubei, whose face was flushed as red as blood, he would think that they _had _beenkissing.

"It's nothing," Juubei said. "It's just a scratch."

"It's all my fault!" said Kazuki. "I'm the one who insisted on perfecting the technique. I'm so sorry, Juubei."

"No, it's my own fault for being clumsy," said Juubei. He felt a trickle of blood run down his cheek like a tear and he swiped at it with his fingers. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm not good enough yet. How can I protect you when I'm not good enough?"

"Oh, don't be like that," Kazuki said softly, lowering his lashes on a frown. "You're always too hard on yourself." He reached for his handkerchief but Juubei gently stopped his hand.

"Don't," he said. "You'll stain it and your mother will see, and she'll know that we've been training without supervision." He pulled back, too late, when he realized that his own fingers were bloody and that he left a streak of his blood on the back of his friend's hand. "I'm sor-"

The apology wavered when Juubei saw the look on Kazuki's face.

Kazuki's mouth was pursed into an "o." His half-lidded eyes were fixed on the smear, red against the fair skin. "It's alright," he whispered, as if in a trance. "It's just blood." Heated brown eyes raked a path from the stained hand up to Juubei's eyes, then to the side of his face where the blood still oozed in little droplets. "Your blood."

Like a kitten laps at a cream-soaked paw, Kazuki raised his hand and flicked out his tongue to taste the bitter, salty blood. Juubei stared, transfixed. He could feel his pulse pounding in his wrists and against the veins of his neck. He could feel the wound on his cheek throbbing wildly.

"Your blood," Kazuki whispered again. He raised himself on his toes and pressed the length of his body against Juubei. His mouth found the beading wound as a butterfly finds nectar.

Juubei breathed shakily when he felt Kazuki gently kiss his cheek. He could feel Kazuki's slim hip through the layers of cloth, shifting against his groin. He groaned aloud at the sting of Kazuki's hot tongue swiping across the wound.

"Kazuki, no!" he protested. "That's a nasty thing to do."

With both hands, Juubei pushed down on Kazuki's shoulders and set his heels on the ground with a little thump. They froze together, Kazuki held off at arm's length and gazing hungrily, desperately up at Juubei . Like a little vampire, Kazuki licked at his lips, top and bottom, with two quick swipes. His body was as taut as a bowstring under Juubei's hands. He said very quietly, very lowly, "Oh, Juubei," and Juubei could hear the roll of lust deep in Kazuki's throat.

Juubei groaned again, as if the string had gone straight through his heart, and his hands slackened around Kazuki's shoulders. At once, Kazuki surged up against his chest and threw both arms around his neck. He tilted his face up and kissed Juubei's mouth.

Juubei found his arms wound tight around Kazuki, his hands gripping Kazuki's back, feeling the heat of his body through the clothes, feeling the straining of his muscles as Kazuki writhed against him.

Recklessly, Kazuki opened his mouth. He jerked back like a scalded child when he felt Juubei's tongue and whimpered in surprise. His parted lips were moist and red. His blinking eyes were dazed.

"_Kazuki_," Juubei said thickly.

And it was Kazuki who leaned forward and found Juubei's mouth again. He poked his tongue at Juubei's lips like an inquisitive poker delving into a glowing fire. It was sweeter than Juubei could have imagined. It was hot and sweet and overwhelming and Juubei knew it had to stop.

"Nnnh… no," he gasped out and pulled away. He took Kazuki's arms from around his neck and pushed his panting friend away, holding him back like he would a wild beast. "You mustn't. You mustn't do such a thing."

He gave Kazuki a little shake and Kazuki stared back at him, bewildered and dizzy. "But…" he protested thinly. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he rubbed his cheek against one of Juubei's hands. "But Juubei, I think I… I think I…"

_I think I love you_, Juubei read from Kazuki's lips, from his heaving chest and hot, flushed face, from the blood that was thrumming against his fair neck like a drum of desire. _I know, I know_, he replied in his mind. _I love you too. But we can't be free to love each other. We aren't like the birds of the sky, who can love and mate and soar through the air as they please. _

"It's just spring fever," he said instead. He forced his lips into a foolish smile. "The air is sweet and it's gone and muddled your brain. It's just spring fever."

"Spring fever?" Kazuki repeated.

"Yes," Juubei laughed. "It's nothing. Just a passing madness. I feel it too, sometimes, when the sun is bright and the flowers are pretty. Don't worry about it, Kazuki. It happens to everyone around this season." The words burned his throat as he spoke them and sounded black, like betrayal.

"Oh. I… I see," Kazuki said awkwardly. "Spring fever." He imitated Juubei's false, careless laughter. "Well," he said, shaking his head, "I feel embarrassed now. You really must forgive me."

"It's alright," Juubei said quickly. "Let's just forget about it."

"Yes," said Kazuki. He rubbed the blush on his cheeks with the back of his hand. "Come on, Juubei. Let's go. We can pick some flowers and we'll pot them when we get home. Then we'll have some tea and sweet cakes and we'll forget this ever happened, alright?"

"Certainly," said Juubei.

They didn't hold hands as they walked away from the river. They didn't dare to touch. Juubei's heart pounded with each step he took and his stomach churned with discomfort, as if his very blood was rebelling against him, as if his body was punishing him for denying a love that was so sweet and natural.

Kazuki stopped to pick a handful of yellow flowers. He sniffed at the pale, powdery centers and giggled when his nose tickled. It started drizzling and Kazuki threw his head back in the warm rain. He opened his mouth wide and drank, gasping, to quench a need that was greater than thirst.

X

I had an urge to continue this series, so… hope you liked this chapter!


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